Some people are naturally good at setting boundaries.

I’m not one of them.

How to say no at work, set boundaries, and avoid burnout:

If you struggle to say no, you’re not alone.

For many years, I had trouble saying no–especially at work.

I wanted to be seen as a team player who could always make it happen.

It was especially hard for me to say no to my managers because of the power dynamic.

I was embarrassed to admit if a task took longer because I didn’t want them to judge me or think I was dumb.

That’s why high performers burn out so often.

They say yes to everything and wind up with mountains of work they can’t possibly finish.

But if you don’t learn how to say no, you burn out.

You become a victim of your own competence. Your boss will keep giving you work until you can’t take it anymore.

Your boss DOESN’T KNOW how much you can handle if you don’t tell them.

Instead of worrying about how to say no, frame your response as a trade-off.

When you reference a trade-off, you remind your boss that not everything can be the top priority.

It helps you have a conversation around your bandwidth and where your effort is most highly-leveraged.

Before:

Boss: Oh this will take 1 hour. It should be easy.

You (in your head): Umm…this takes 6-7 hours.

You (out loud): Okay, no problem!

After:

Boss: Oh this will take 1 hour. It should be easy.

You (in your head): Umm…this takes 6-7 hours.

You (out loud): Hmm…the task you mentioned usually takes 6-7 hours. I’m currently working on x too. Do you prefer I prioritize this new task?

If you have a POV on what you should prioritize, say this:

You: Great, added to my to-do list. As a heads up, this task usually takes 6-7 hours. You mentioned to prioritize x, so I’m going to continue focusing on that & work on y after. Let me know if you think differently.

The best part? Good bosses love this.

They appreciate having more insight into a task they haven’t personally done.

It keeps them in the loop while protecting your bandwidth (and sanity). https://twitter.com/wes_kao/status/1451926441239719947?s=21

As both a manager and direct report myself, I’ve seen both sides of the trade-offs framework.

As a manager, I don’t want my team to suffer in silence.

And sometimes I forget what else they’re working on. So I love when they surface trade-offs & we get to align on priorities.

With this approach, you get the benefits of saying no without actually saying no.

You help the other person understand when your plate is getting full & how you might want to reprioritize given new info.

Try using the trade-offs framework the next time you want to push back.

If you enjoyed this, follow me @wes_kao. I write threads dissecting entrepreneurship, education, and marketing every week.