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How To Stop Suffering From Being Nice Through Assertiveness
5 Ways To Become A More Assertive Man
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5 Ways To Become A More Assertive Man
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We’ve all heard of Nice Guy Syndrome.
It’s defined as a set of behaviors that men follow that make them pushovers, doormats, and people pleasers-all in the name of being “nice. “
It’s defined as a set of behaviors that men follow that make them pushovers, doormats, and people pleasers-all in the name of being “nice. “
Do these traits sound like someone you know?
-hate conflict
-go along to get along
-seek approval from others to a fault
-think people should already know what they want/need
Maybe these describe you.
If you relate to the above, keep reading.
-hate conflict
-go along to get along
-seek approval from others to a fault
-think people should already know what they want/need
Maybe these describe you.
If you relate to the above, keep reading.
Aggression vs Assertiveness
Most men, when trying to recover from Nice Guy Syndrome, start to act really aggressive towards others, using physical and emotional violence to force people to act how they want.
Don’t do this.
Most men, when trying to recover from Nice Guy Syndrome, start to act really aggressive towards others, using physical and emotional violence to force people to act how they want.
Don’t do this.
It often has the opposite effect of what you’re trying to accomplish, creating resentment and hatred.
What you should aim for is assertiveness:
-standing up for yourself
-being direct and honest
-displaying confidence
-asking for what you want
Let’s break them down.
What you should aim for is assertiveness:
-standing up for yourself
-being direct and honest
-displaying confidence
-asking for what you want
Let’s break them down.
1. Set Boundaries
Get clear on what type of behavior you’ll tolerate from others.
Anyone who disrespects them needs to be told-sternly-to stop.
Don’t be a doormat.
Get clear on what type of behavior you’ll tolerate from others.
Anyone who disrespects them needs to be told-sternly-to stop.
Don’t be a doormat.
2. Ask For What You Want
If you want something, ask for it.
If it bothers you, speak up.
People aren’t mind readers. They won’t know what you want or need unless you tell them.
Remember: the worse they can say is no.
If you want something, ask for it.
If it bothers you, speak up.
People aren’t mind readers. They won’t know what you want or need unless you tell them.
Remember: the worse they can say is no.
3. Say No
Speaking of which- you need to get comfortable saying no.
Don’t feel like doing something? Say no.
Is a behavior someone is asking you to do break your values? Say no.
Don’t go along with something because you think it will make people like you.
Speaking of which- you need to get comfortable saying no.
Don’t feel like doing something? Say no.
Is a behavior someone is asking you to do break your values? Say no.
Don’t go along with something because you think it will make people like you.
4. Stop Apologizing
Stop feeling guilty for expressing a need or want. You have nothing to feel sorry about.
Simply ask or tell what you want and wait to see how the other person responds.
If their feelings get hurt, that’s their problem.
Stop feeling guilty for expressing a need or want. You have nothing to feel sorry about.
Simply ask or tell what you want and wait to see how the other person responds.
If their feelings get hurt, that’s their problem.
5. Stop Justifying
You are not obligated-to anyone-to give an explanation for every single thing you decide to do.
Did they ask? If not, don’t say anything.
Another reminder: You don’t need anyone’s permission.
You are not obligated-to anyone-to give an explanation for every single thing you decide to do.
Did they ask? If not, don’t say anything.
Another reminder: You don’t need anyone’s permission.
Learning to voice your wants, needs, and opinions will make you more confident, attractive and charismatic.
You may not get what you want. Maybe you will. At least you’ll know.
You’ll also have more control of your life.
Start small, stay consistent. Be assertive.
You may not get what you want. Maybe you will. At least you’ll know.
You’ll also have more control of your life.
Start small, stay consistent. Be assertive.
Thanks for reading. If you liked this, please like and retweet the first post to spread the message.
Thank you.
Thank you.
This thread was inspired by @SaveYourSons, who goes into great detail about being a more complete man. Read this thread for more
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