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THREAD ON ESTONIAN WEDDING CUSTOMS
The wedding was one of the most important events in traditional Estonian society. These wedding traditions are typical for a patriarchal clan-based society and similar customs are found all around the world, especially among Finno-Ugric people.
The wedding was one of the most important events in traditional Estonian society. These wedding traditions are typical for a patriarchal clan-based society and similar customs are found all around the world, especially among Finno-Ugric people.
PICKING A BRIDE AND ENGAGEMENT
The whole marriage process was conducted by the groom& #39;s parents and other older relatives, they had the final say in the matter. Picking the right bride was of great importance, since the marriage wouldn& #39;t only secure the clan& #39;s survival...
The whole marriage process was conducted by the groom& #39;s parents and other older relatives, they had the final say in the matter. Picking the right bride was of great importance, since the marriage wouldn& #39;t only secure the clan& #39;s survival...
...but also form an important alliance between the groom& #39;s and bride& #39;s clans. Contrary to popular belief, the wealth of the respective families were not so important. The hardworkingness and good reputation of the bride were valued above all.
Once a suitable bride had been found, an older female relative of the groom would go on a kuulamine. She would go to the bride& #39;s home on an evening with a bottle of vodka and allude to a marriage by complimenting her and the potential groom, offering vodka to the bride& #39;s family.
If the bride& #39;s family didn& #39;t like the matchup, they would simply not drink the vodka, thus politely refusing. If they agreed, the next stage of getting married followed: the kosjad. The kosjad was a sumptuous event: the groom and the isamees (an older married male relative...
..of the groom who represented the groom& #39;s clan) came on an evening on horses decorated with bells to the bride& #39;s home. The qualities of the isamees had to be knowledge of traditions and having a way with words. They brought with them beer or vodka and mandatory engagement gifts.
The isamees did all the talking, the groom was silent. Once the bride was brought into the room, the beer or vodka was put on the table and once again drinking from it would confirm the marriage. The engagement gifts included: an apron, silk shawl and knife for the bride...
...a tanu (special hat) and apron for the mother, shawls for the sisters, a hat and pipe for the father and hats and scarves for the brothers. A part of the prideprice (kihlaraha) was also paid in the form of silver coins, paper money was forbidden.
The time between the kosjad and the wedding was usually a few months. The customs during this time vary. The bride spent it working on her dowry - the veimevakk, a chest of textile items made by her to be used in her new home. Collecting donations was also done in poorer areas.
THE WEDDING
Weddings were usually held in early winter, summer was working time. Holding a wedding during a waxing moon was thought to bring stength and youthfulness to the marriage. Weddings usually lasted 3-4 days.
Weddings were usually held in early winter, summer was working time. Holding a wedding during a waxing moon was thought to bring stength and youthfulness to the marriage. Weddings usually lasted 3-4 days.
The whole wedding process was accompanied by song. The wedding folk were split into two: the groom& #39;s clan called saajarahvas and the bride& #39;s clan called vakarahvas. Both sides had a singer called kaasik who described the wedding& #39;s rituals and events with by singing.
The leader of the saajarahvas was the isamees (also mõõgaisa) I mentioned earlier. The isamees was accompanied by the peiupoisid - unmarried young men, who carried ritual swords and shawls over their shoulders. The mõõgaema (wife of the isamees) was also important.
The leader of the vakarahvas was the kaasanaine - an older married female relative of the bride. She was helped by the pruuttüdrukud - young unmarried women. The pruudivend (bride& #39;s brother) was also a significant person. The bride and groom& #39;s roles themselves were passive.
FIRST DAY
The wedding started at the groom& #39;s home. The saajarahvas would mount horses and ride towards the bride& #39;s home. During this march they made as much noise as possible to keep away evil spirits. The groom ritually circled the saajarahvas, this act was called piiramine.
The wedding started at the groom& #39;s home. The saajarahvas would mount horses and ride towards the bride& #39;s home. During this march they made as much noise as possible to keep away evil spirits. The groom ritually circled the saajarahvas, this act was called piiramine.
When the saajarahvas arrived, the gate of the bride& #39;s home was closed. Here the sõnasõda was held - a battle of song between the saaja- and vakarahvas, where the saajarahvas tried to convince the vakarahvas to let them in. The rest of the prideprice was paid here.
After the saajarahvas was let in, the vakarahvas invited them to eat. A peiupoiss would cut a cross on the door of the house with a sword, another act of repelling evil spirits. After taking a few bites the saajarahvas demanded to see the bride.
The mõõgaema brought in the bride along with the pruuttüdrukud, all covered in big pieces of cloth called uig. The groom or isamees had to guess which one of them was the real bride. When the real one was found and brought next to the groom the real feast could begin.
During the feast the bride and groom wouldn& #39;t eat much, and were fed by the kaasanaine and isamees respectively. After this it was time for the bride to leave her home. This was usually done in the dark and with the bride& #39;s face covered by an uig.
The saajarahvas and most important members of the vakarahvas rode off in the dark towards the bride& #39;s new home. The bride and groom were kept on seperate horses. Once again, noise was made as much as possible. When arriving at the groom& #39;s home, a peiupoiss would greet...
...the people with beer. The beer was shared among the attendants and the final bit was thrown in all directions and poured on the head of the bride& #39;s horse. A remnant of ritual sacrifice of alcohol. The mõõgaema put a fur coat or a rug in front of the bride& #39;s horse or sledge.
The bride stepped on the rug when dismounting, this would guarantee a happy marriage. The bride was carried the rest of the way to the house. After this, the isamees brought the bride outside once again and held the uju heitmine - taking the uig off the bride& #39;s head with...
...a sword and throwing it on the roof of the house. Then the mõõgaema showed the bride around her new home. The bride gave textile items as sacrifice to everything in the house, from tools to furniture, to make peace with the local spirits. An ancient animistic tradition.
SECOND DAYu2028
The next day the rest of the vakarahvas would join the festivity. Another sõnasõda is held until the vakarahvas is let in. The vakarahvas wants to see the bride, while the saajarahvas tries to hide her. Another feast follows and after that the most important ritual.
The next day the rest of the vakarahvas would join the festivity. Another sõnasõda is held until the vakarahvas is let in. The vakarahvas wants to see the bride, while the saajarahvas tries to hide her. Another feast follows and after that the most important ritual.
The peak of the wedding is the tanutamine or linutamine. This happens half-secretly with only the most important members of the wedding in a secluded room. The bride and groom are made to sit next to eachother behind a table. The mõõgaema proceeds to cut the bride& #39;s...
..hair shorter in an act called piiramine. She says the tanutamissõnad - lessons and teachings for the bride, which always included the words "Pea mees meeles!" (Remember your husband!) She then covers the bride& #39;s head with a tanu or linik, customary headwear for a married woman.
The tanu is a special hat which shape varies by region, it was more common in Northern Estonia. The linik is a shawl, a much older piece of clothing dating back to ancient times. During this ritual the bride was supposed to cry to make sure she wouldn& #39;t cry in a later age.
In some regions the bride also wore an apron during this ritual. After this the pair was officially married and the bride entered a new social status - a noorik, a married woman without children. The 2nd day ended with the husband and wife sleeping together for the first time.
THIRD DAYu2028
The husband and wife were woken up by singing, playing instruments and shouting. After some minor rituals, the most important event of the 3rd day followed: the sharing of the dowry. The veimevakk (special chest or box where the dowry was kept) was brought in.
The husband and wife were woken up by singing, playing instruments and shouting. After some minor rituals, the most important event of the 3rd day followed: the sharing of the dowry. The veimevakk (special chest or box where the dowry was kept) was brought in.
The veimevakk contained the veimed - gifts, mostly pieces of clothing. The peiupoiss took the items, put them on his sword and handed them over one by one to the isamees who then shared the gifts among the saajarahvas. This was all accompanied by song and dance.
This was proceeded by a lot of dancing and feasting. The newlyweds often collected donations from the wedding attendants. After the final feast, the attendants headed home. This was the end of the wedding celebrations.
