#izuku #angst #comfort

Izuku was tired. So very, very tired.

He was tired of trying.

He was tired of faking.

He was tired of failing.

He was tired of feeling tired.

Why couldn’t he take a break? Why is it that whenever he took two steps, he was falling back five?

His friends would always tell him he was doing great. They held him on their shoulders and assured him that his efforts meant something.

If that was true, why did it feel like he was right back where he started?

Izuku started to grow distant from the same friends who helped him

He began staying out later to train and stayed awake through the night to push his limits and attempt to get himself further ahead in the game. He skipped meals to work on class assignments and was always the first one to take up extra credit.

Even if he didn’t need it.

Ochako and Tenya had tried to tell him to slow down. They tried to show him how unhealthy it was to push himself without concern of his own well being.

Izuku assured them he was fine.

He told everyone he was perfectly fine.

But when he was alone, he’d cry until he couldn’t.

His tears would fall silently from his eyes and land on the page of an open textbook. He’d sob into his hands and try not to scream so Aoyama wouldn’t worry.

‘I have to do this.’ He told himself. ‘If I don’t do this, I’ll never make it.’

Day and night, night and day, Izuku would repeat the same phrase. He would internally justify his self destruction.

It wasn’t until he got knocked down hard by Shouto during a training exercise that Aizawa pulled him aside to talk.

“What’s going on, Midoriya?”

Izuku looked up at his teacher, eyes glassy and unfocused.

“H-huh?” He asked dumbly, body still aching from the blow he took and stomach hollow from the look he was receiving from the elder.

“Don’t /huh/ me. Your physical performance has been dropping and you look dead on your feet.” Aizawa put a hand on on Izuku’s shoulder. “Have you been feeling sick? I need to know,” The boy shook his head.

“I-I’m sorry for worrying you, sensei. I’m fine, really,” He lied.

He knew it was a lie no matter how hard he tried to convince himself it wasn’t.

/I’m fine./

/I’m fine./

/Why wouldn’t I be fine?/

“Uhm...Aizawa~Sensei? Deku’s been missing meals...a-a lot of them...” Ochako’s voice had never been so soft, but never so loud at the same time.

Izuku whipped his head around to see his friends standing there with guilty faces.

“I’m afraid Uraraka’s right. Not only that, but he’s sleep deprived and overworks himself until he could barely walk.”

“Iida—“

“I’m sorry Midoriya. But as your friend I can’t watch you do this,”

Iida’s expression showed how sorry he truly was, but Izuku couldn’t see it through the blinding whirlwind he suddenly found himself in.

/You’re friends betrayed you./

Really, he should know they were just looking out for him. He should know they had to do this to help him.

Instead, he felt utterly and completely alone.

“Midoriya,” Aizaw’s voice pulled Izuku’s eyes to him again. “Take a trip to Recovery Girl. After that, go back to the dorms and eat. Get some sleep and /don’t/ open a single textbook or use a /single/ piece of training equipment,”.

He didn’t register the words said until after he had already left Recovery Girl’s office with a slip in his hand. His feet carried him to the dorms without his brain aware of where he was going.

The slip felt heavy, as if it was an anchor holding him to the ground.

It wasn’t until he was alone in his room that the situation became clear as day.

/I’m falling behind./

/I’ve already fell behind./

/I wasn’t good enough to do it./

/My friends saw that I wasn’t good enough./

/I’ll never be good enough./

The desperate feeling shifted.

He felt hopeless. Pathetic. Ashamed.

He just wanted to do his best even if it meant he’d have to put himself aside to achieve his goals. He wanted everyone to be proud of what he could do so that maybe, his efforts would mean something important.

Was he just not good enough?

/No one will ever see your struggles./

/They’ll never see your pain./

/You won’t ever be acknowledged for all that you do./

Izuku dropped the slip as his hands flew to his hair, tightly gripping his curls and pulling at them until he could feel his scalp burning.

His legs gave out from beneath him and he didn’t know if it was because he was starving or if his body knew that he had given up. There were hot, salty tears falling from his desolate eyes while he stared at the floor.

“I can’t do it,” He murmured to himself. “I can’t I can’t.”

His voice was broken, echoing in the silence around him.

He was tired of it all.

He was so tired

Buzzes of green lightning crackled around his fingertips and sparked in his eyes. His slumped figure illuminated in a dull viridian light yet it went unnoticed by the boy.

“/I can’t do this anymore/“ The last sentence to slip off his tongue was what made Izuku snap.

He was gone from his fetal position in an instant, knocking down his shelves and obliterating his desk into mere splinters.

His posters were ripped from the walls and thrown aside.

A charged punch shattered his mirror and cascade all of its broken pieces across the floor. The curtains on his balcony window were torn and shredded and his bed was a mess of feathers and unruly cotton.

Izuku screamed over and over again at the top of his lungs, losing himself.

He screamed even when his throat began to burn and scratch. He screamed until he couldn’t cry anymore. He screamed until everything he owned was utterly destroyed and lying around his room discarded.

He screamed until he couldn’t.

Izuku sat in his newly empty closet silently.

He could just about see the mess he created through the slots in his wooden door. The sight made his chest bubble with anger towards himself.

/You were never going to make it./

His forehead rested against his knees at the thought.

Of course he wasn’t going to make it.

Why would he?

Izuku sat in silence for what felt like hours, his eyes fluttering closed until he was snoring softly.

He awoke when there was a knock at his door, but he didn’t have the voice to answer even if he wanted to. The person took that as a sign to enter.

From his hiding place, Izuku couldn’t make out who it was, but he saw them stand in the middle of his room and take in the damage he had done.

The thought of his classmates thinking badly of him made his body instinctively curl in on itself, the tiny shuffle alerting his visitor

The door to his closet opened to reveal Ochako standing there with a sorrowful look in her eyes.

“Deku...” She started, kneeling down in front of him. He didn’t answer, even when his other classmates trickled in.

Each one of them stepped carefully, mindful of the broken glass and splinters spewn about.

“You know we love you...right? We just want the best for you...” His friend put a hand on his knee, pulling away when the touch cause him to wince.

He couldn’t look her in the eyes.

He refused.

“Midoriya, you can’t hold a burden all on your own,” That was Kiri’s voice.

“We’re right here...aren’t we?” Kami.

Izuku swallowed painfully, lifting his eyes to see every one of his classmates standing before him.

Even Katsuki was there, face strangely calm.

Licking his lips, Izuku tried his best to speak clearly despite the rasp in his throat.

“Wh-y...why can’t I-I...b-e good e-enough...” His voice was quiet, but the silence was enough for everyone to hear him.

“Oh, Deku...” Ochako teared up, reaching a hand to cup his cheek.

Izuku flinched but let her do so.

“You’re more than enough,” She finalized. There were a round of agreements that made the greenette shake his head.

“N-no—“

“Deku,” Katsuki’s voice was hard, loud. Izuku looked up at him with a hopeless expression and waited for the worst.

“Do you really think if you weren’t good enough you wouldn’t be here with so many damn people who care about you?” The blond scowled without his usual bite. Almost as if he were annoyed he had to spell out the truth for the other boy.

“Bakugou’s right. We love you so, so much. You’re doing great and you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone,” Ashido jumped in, a smile on her face. There was once again a round of agreements.

Ochako burst into tears from the look in her best friend’s eyes before she hugged him

Izuku felt her arms around his body and couldn’t help but to curl into her embrace, eyes watering with tears.

/You are enough./

/Your efforts were worth it./

/You’re not alone./

The boy gripped onto the brunette’s uniform and and choked back a sob, his mind clearing up.

“We always have your back...” Ochako sniffled, giving a shaky laugh when Izuku began to cry openly.

One by one, his classmates joined in on the hug, save for Katsuki who just nodded in approval.

Surrounded by the warmth of his found family, Izuku felt like he could breathe.

For the first time in a long time, he felt himself relax.

It would be a while before he was back on his feet, but he knew now that his struggles meant something. He wasn’t alone.

He can do this.

(end)

I just projected so hard onto this thread lol