I got an email from a soldier today after 15 yrs of not knowing his whereabouts. He wrote a 3 page letter. This is what stuck. “You were intuitive enough to see who I was.

I needed a safe place to work through my thoughts my demons. I had to walk thorough them painstakingly, as if I was fording a muddy stream.  The more I talked the more I revealed my self.
You never said “suck it up.”  You never said, “You joined us.”

You never viewed me as a nail that needed hammering, as so many others in team had.  You instead approached me with non-judgment. Like a father or brother. You knew that I needed to come to my own conclusions.

Our conversations did not forever alter my life.  There were no messages from God.  But they crystallized for me something that I suspect You had known all along.  My struggle with myself & the Army had not been about the gut check.  It had been a struggle for validation.

My dreams of an Army career were as finished as a broken marriage.  I was less welcome in the Army than a suicide bomber.  I remember that
day I walked up to the team room.  I knocked and said, “Hey Chief, do you have a minute?”

That single act prompted scores of subsequent conversations between us. We talked in your office. We talked at the club in the gym on runs, humping.  We talked on planning meetings, and the constant deployments.
The conversations always had a familiar agenda.  I

I bitched, whined and lamented. Brother You listened.  I repeated every bitch, complaint, whine, and lament. You listened again.  Patience like Yours may be the most underrated of all leadership skills.  I learned to listen and it helped me be successful.

Today I retired as LT Commander from the Navy. Just want to let you know your advice was right. It was all up to me to make the difference.” Be good to your people and always listen to them.