Read on TwitterBig week for our household. Our youngest, most mischievous child, Josh, turns 10 on Wednesday. We had kids somewhat late – Josh was our mid-life surprise @ 40. With his milestone birthday, so close to Mother’s Day, I have wanted to say a few things...
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Motherhood does not define me; it’s not the totality of my personality. In fact, I’ve railed against the “cult of womanhood” for as long as I can remember. To many, my own mom is a saint – the ideal doting mother who sublimated everything she ever wanted for her family.
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I, however, recall her being beholden to controlling men and, most of the time, if we were being honest, she was simply miserable. So 15 years after our first child – with whom I have a difficult relationship – I can say I am comfortable with the mother I am.
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Given that I’ve always worked, I’ve had to make choices about what motherhood looks like for me. I care about health a lot, so I cook almost every meal from scratch. What I sacrifice is being a room mom or someone who played on the floor for hours with blocks or toys.
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I care about manners, so our kids are extremely polite in public but often talk sass at home, which rolls off me most of the time. I care about their education so although they aren& #39;t geniuses they do their homework and are expected to go to college or get a job at 18.
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And, finally, if you meet me IRL please understand I won’t talk about our kids incessantly. In fact, I deliberately chose to marry someone who I knew wouldn’t be obsessed with our future kids on date night for the rest of my life.
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Many people on Twitter will read this and decide I am a terrible person who shouldn’t have had kids. Of course, I’d ask those same people to check themselves on how many MEN they’ve criticized for parenthood not defining them but that& #39;s another story...
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I’d also say: our family is just fine thanks. Our sweet boys will grow up to make their own conclusions on my merits as a mom – I’m certain they will say I failed at a lot but succeeded at more than they expected.
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Motherhood is hard. It& #39;s a conversation I wish our society had more honestly, which is why I wrote this thread. Also, our soulful youngest child is a gift who sees me for who I am. And with that I wish Joshua Michael the best birthday ever!
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