thread on why tomatoes are the worst thing in existence (ty juli for the inspo)

1. theyre red. red is the color of anger. anger can cause murder. so when i see a t*mato, i feel like murdering it. and i do not want to put anyone (not including tomatoes) in danger.

2. they’re juicy. nothing wrong with a nice juicy food. but when you have round, red AND JUICY that’s a horrible combo and could lead to horrible things.

3. they taste like actual regurgitated cocoa puffs.

4. they smell like my grandmother’s corpse. question. how are you going to make something that’s red, tastes gross, juicy AND SOMETHING THAT SMELLS HORRIBLE.

5. there are different kinds. one is enough. please do not make my life worse.

end of thread reminder to eat grapes.