As a middle aged person I often find images of young people hopping effortlessly in and out of helicopters don’t reflect my reality. Here are a few tips from today’s exploits for others in my position. Would welcome any additions

1.Have a back-up plan for when the number of pockets on your flight suit is greater than the number of obvious options for where you put your glasses

2.Pilots setting the seatbelts up for the day often underestimate the effect of a few decades of calorie mismatch. If you don’t want to hamper rapid departure by embarrassing fiddling with straps, pre-loosen to ensure a more realistic starting point

3.If you feel even a slight inkling to pee whilst on base, respond immediately. The combination of diminishing bladder capacity, increasing prostate size, the pilot’s efforts with the seatbelts and jobs on the bounce can make for uncomfortable moments

4.Ensure you can still pass the basic tests of flexibility: spinal flexion (tying bootlaces), internal shoulder rotation (back pack donning), neck rotation (staying alive), and putting on a Tyvek suit (general wrigglinesss)

5. To avoid being left alone in fields practice climbing over various sorts of fences. Even wobbly ones. You might wish to practice getting the back pack off for this also: if you actually managed to get it on in the first place

6. Pick a service flying comfortable aircraft with steps, handholds and other mobility aids … it’s worth shopping around

Reassuringly your underpants are now likely to be of sufficient size to wear outside your trousers ….