I wish the basics of learning to ID narcissism in individuals as well as narcissistic dynamics of an organization (ie what it looks like when an org has narcissistic leadership) was taught more widely.

I don’t ID narcissists by their behavior, because that varies, but by how I feel in their presence. I want everyone to be able to connect to their internal barometer.

When I’m in the presence of someone with pathological narcissism, I usually:

Think to myself that I like them, but I don’t feel warm liking feelings in my body.

Want to impress them

Feel inadequate, but like I’ll be able to prove myself if I just say the right thing.

Have a walking-on-eggshells feeling

Feel elated, like extra elated, when and if they compliment me.

Find them really “interesting” to talk about/analyze with someone else, but like it’s a compulsion and it takes away from talking about my/our usual interests.

Workplaces run by narcissists are often characterized by employees:

Being competitive with and suspicious of each other/ Assigning blame for problems/failures

Not taking PTO, putting in extra hours

Burning out and leaving (high turnover)

Never critiquing leadership