This whole “I show empathy by talking about myself with similar experiences, not by listening” thing has a caveat that people are ignoring.

Intimacy.

Fam and friends might can relate that way more easily because of intimacy. Doing this to a stranger may not work at times.

A lot of people are trying to sweep the idea of showing empathy through anecdote being undesirable by some people as blanket “ableism” while skipping over how intimacy or lack of intimacy can shape how this kinda empathy will be received.

Further, this idea that everyone who wants listening as a response is neurotypical and everyone who wants to give a relatable anecdote instead is neuroatypical is a dishonest binary.

It also is obscuring racial & cultural differences (on top of intimacy ones) in communication.

And consider fact that some people’s experiences are already considered more false and less valuable *before* they even speak *solely* based on their identity/social location.

This too can impact how they perceive responses to their own pain and if they feel regularly silenced.