I recently ended a friendship in the same way in which I've ended romantic relationships before. Direct, honest. It felt really weird—and far too mature if we're being real—but why is it that we often don't give the same care to our friendships as we do our lovers?

If you've decided to break up with someone, you usually talk ad nauseam about the mechanics of it. You try to honor the end of it with as much dignity as it began. There's an air of bowing to the romance that was even if it's gone. We don't do that when we end friendships.

We also just don't generally pour as much romance into our friendships either. We don't put as much care and intent. Imagine how friendships would feel different if we saw our friendships as a healing space to give & receive love. Actively in practice.

If when trying to get to know a new friend we bought flowers, listened & gave sweet gifts. We cared about our clothes and hair—we spent as much time picking out the best look as we did for dates— because this new friendship feels important + significant. Imagine?

Trying to decolonize my care of folks. Knowing that the intention that romance demands—the doting, softness and tenderness—can be experienced outside of someone who I also want to fuck.