"Cash for vaccines" but instead you offer free tickets to NASCAR and your favorite driver starts a lap down for every unvaccinated fan in the stands.

"Cash for vaccines" but instead your favorite SEC team has to gain an extra yard for a first down for every unvaccinated fan in the stands.

"Cash for vaccines" but instead we add an extra minute of commercials to Duck Dynasty for every unvaccinated cast member.

"Cash for vaccines" but instead we inject every piece of pork, beef or chicken at the BBQ with a dose of J&J

"Cash for vaccines" but instead we remove a vehicle or couch from you lawn for every unvaccinated family member

"Cash for vaccines" but instead we add a POC to the audience of your mega-church for every unvaccinated family member. (this seems cruel to the POC that is forced to sit in the audience, but they're also unvaccinated so it creates incentive in multiple groups)

"Cash for vaccines" but instead we let Trump tweet a single character for every MAGAhead that gets vaccinated. (tweets to be released at the time and in the order chosen by @KT_So_It_Goes )