These are two of my pet lambs - Hopeless (left) and Cactus (right).

I have 43 pet lambs to look after, and these two, even after 2 weeks of solid tutoring, still don't understand how to drink milk from a teat.

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We have an auto milk feeder that mixes powder with warm water so lambs can drink it adlib. When I get a new pet lamb I have to teach them to find the teat. It usually takes 2/3 days for them to work it out. Some click much quicker and they're my Intelligent Lambs. I love them.

So Hopeless's mother died and Cactus was the smallest of triplets.

Something fundamental must have imploded in Cactus' brain as he can't fathom the connection between drinking milk . I thought he was blind as he couldn't seem to find the teat. He's not blind. Just very very dim.

Hopeless was brought in from the field and the upset of losing her mum was so discombobulating she now thinks she belongs to me and won't leave me alone for a second. She likes to walk two inches in front of me and I've fallen over her twice.

Cactus and his brain knows there's milk somewhere but thinks he can find it in my wellies. Hopeless just stands there looking forlorn and making sad tiny bleats.I have to physically OPEN THEIR JAWS and slide them onto the teat (which is set at lamb height on the side of the pen).

They act all surprised and if they fall off the teat without finishing their meal they frantically twirl round and round my feet trying to work out where to suck whilst I'm bellowing IT'S THERE!! THERE!!!

It's pretty traumatic for all of us and everyone gets frustrated/sweaty.

Hopeless will be renamed Hopeful when she finally learns that she can drink when I'm not actually there. Cactus is a ball of apologetic nervousness and will probably never learn as his brain circuits seem a little scrambled. Look at his little confused face.

Just to show you one of my Intelligent Lambs, this is Fern, one of my smallest but brightest pets. She learnt how to suck on the machine IN ONE MORNING.

Hopeless and Cactus are much loved but think of me wrestling with them both 4 times a day whilst being hosed down with milk.