In #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek 2019 I finally found the courage to self-refer to the NHS IAPT talking therapies. After 3 family bereavements, the end of a marriage and a lot of work stress I couldn't cope. I think I just needed someone to validate that I'd been through a lot.

Turns out yeah I'd had a shitty time, but also I've got a condition. Something that I guess I'd known and avoided for a long time because my experience of mental health services at University were so damaging. I've lived most of my life with really unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I referred in May. Had an initial assessment phone call within 2 weeks. Next step was a follow up call because some things I'd said had been flagged as needing. They took about a month to decide that traditional talking therapy wouldn't be 'enough'.

In July 2019 I had a formal assessment. It was painful and cathartic, but most of all so so validating. The clinical psychologist was kind and gentle. I had no complaints at all. I was offered DBT - Dialectical Behavioural Therapy & warned there was a long waitlist.

In October 2019 I was offered a place in a group and started my DBT skills journey. By December I'd also been offered an individual therapist. I was so scared but every single person at every single step of my journey was an utter joy.

Last week I graduated from DBT. Because I finished it all, I'm allowed to keep my 1:1 (who also happens to be the head of service and an utter boss) work number until she retires. This means I can ask for coaching or a session whenever, wherever. I don't feel alone. I'm not alone

At no point on this journey have I ever felt alone. In fact from the moment I joined my skills group I've felt nothing but relief. After a lifetime of feeling like I'm the only person who feels like I do, like I'm stupid for being constantly overwhelmed I've finally found peace.

So this #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek please be brave. Please reach out if you need it. Therapy is scary, but not half as scary as being alone with your thoughts, or spending a lifetime engaging in problematic behaviour.

You've got this. I believe in you. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/nhs-talking-therapies/