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For those of you who suffer with anxiety, here& #39;s the therapist& #39;s advice that changed my life 
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#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek
About 18 months ago, I was settling back into a deep anxious spiral. It was something I& #39;d known before. It wasn& #39;t new to me.
My chest was tight 24/7. I had panic attacks regularly. I couldn& #39;t sleep. You know the phases I mean.
My chest was tight 24/7. I had panic attacks regularly. I couldn& #39;t sleep. You know the phases I mean.
When I spoke to my very-blunt-speaking therapist about this, she said "Well yeah, people are overstepping your boundaries."
I felt genuinely confused - what did my boundaries or perhaps lack of, have to do with how anxious I was feeling?
I felt genuinely confused - what did my boundaries or perhaps lack of, have to do with how anxious I was feeling?
She said "when you& #39;re feeling anxious, it& #39;s because your boundaries are being overstepped. it& #39;s that simple."
Honestly? I didn& #39;t believe it. I& #39;d been diagnosed with severe anxiety years ago, I& #39;d had multiple therapists beforehand and yet, no one had ever simplified it to this.
Honestly? I didn& #39;t believe it. I& #39;d been diagnosed with severe anxiety years ago, I& #39;d had multiple therapists beforehand and yet, no one had ever simplified it to this.
So, we went through my then-current anxiety filled moments.
We went through what situations I felt my chest tightening in, we went through what kept me up at night....
and we went through exactly what boundaries were being overstepped in *each and every single one*.
We went through what situations I felt my chest tightening in, we went through what kept me up at night....
and we went through exactly what boundaries were being overstepped in *each and every single one*.
She was right, of course. Suddenly, I had the task of disallowing people from overstepping boundaries they probably didn& #39;t even know I had (or wanted to have).
My life felt messy, and this was the ultimate solution.
My life felt messy, and this was the ultimate solution.
I spent a lot of time, in session and out, unpicking my values, my beliefs and ultimately my boundaries.
I learned very quickly, that with each situation I solved, I could suddenly breathe again.
I learned very quickly, that with each situation I solved, I could suddenly breathe again.
My biggest learning was that I could walk away from anyone not listening or respecting those boundaries.
Now, anxiety is not a massive part of my life. It doesn& #39;t drive me or hold me back - tbh it barely even crosses my mind.
Now, anxiety is not a massive part of my life. It doesn& #39;t drive me or hold me back - tbh it barely even crosses my mind.
When the feeling creeps back in occasionally, I take a step back and spot which boundary wasn& #39;t in place as firmly as I thought it was.
I take a moment to reassert the boundary. I do not base that boundary on what other& #39;s deem acceptable.
The panic subsides - immediately.
I take a moment to reassert the boundary. I do not base that boundary on what other& #39;s deem acceptable.
The panic subsides - immediately.
TLDR: my therapist said boundaries being overstepped was the reason I was always feeling anxious.
She was 100% correct.
I learnt to assert boundaries and walk away if they weren& #39;t respected, and I am no longer an anxious person.
She was 100% correct.
I learnt to assert boundaries and walk away if they weren& #39;t respected, and I am no longer an anxious person.
