Morning, I delivered an anti-racism training session a few weeks ago and a someone became upset. I had not realised. They said something problematic & were challenged by their peers. They approached me during a break to say they were upset I might think they were racist...

With the most compassion I could gather, I said...what you said did need to be challenged & my advice would be if you are so upset by people of colour thinking you are racist, it’s an indication you need to reflect on your racism. Racism exists in us all.

I looked at them as kindly as I could. Trying not to connect to my exasperation but to their vulnerability in this moment. I think I held them for a few moments in silence, and stood next to them. They thanked me, I could see they were still processing my words.

We are conditioned to centre white distress. And to breastfeed those who harm us. This person knew there* were a good chance I’d soothe them & reassure them. I have learnt to keep my breast in my bra. Still I try to connect the humanity of all of us.

I try hard not to shame white people in my work. I try hard not to come from a place of retaliation or punishment. Of course I fail sometimes. Let’s try to stay with the fact of your racism. It needs no additional weight. It’s heavy enough from your own shame & guilt.