I really want to revamp the YH3 series into like, a diamond edition or something. I'll probably never be able to do it but I wanna still talk about what I would change about them in this thread.
YH3:

It's a surprisingly good book being the 2nd I've ever completed, but there's still some hiccups. Johnson's backstory is boring. Originally I was going to showcase it in Ball's point of view but in a random choice I decided to write it from Johnson's. It's a fine write-
but it doesn't connect to the rest of the story that much. Ball isn't there (well she IS Johnson at that point but it's hard to tell) David isn't there. We don't really like
Johnson that much. I'm not sure about how to fix it because his story in important to the end. The-
subtle way Ball influences Johnson's mind is clever, but without an endearing character to follow through the short backstory it feels out of place. Perhaps It should be more obvious that Ball is to blame for his personal growth by the end. Maybe even changing the way he looks-
at things.

I also want to re-write Four's backstory. In YH3 Four was a normal being before being turned into a chaos beast by the prisms. This was based off of a misconception that Four acted differently in BFB than they do in XFHV. This is ok, but nowadays I think making four-
tragic neglects what his character means to other people. He doesn't need to be 'fixed' because of an accident that cursed him, he should just be able to be his zany self without a forced explanation as to why. In a newer version I might just have Four captured as opposed to-
being an experiment.
PM:

Pencil's Personification was originally a funey joke that I wrote to entertain myself. It was being written at the same time YH3 was on its endgame. It's really cool, but it lacks proper tension that can make the chapters in its first half forgettable. Still, it's hard to-
actually point out why.

I'd also like to get to know Pencil's character development better. The story shifts to Match's POV through most of the book, relying on Pencil as an instigator for Match's development. But it's a mystery as to why most of the development happens.
Perhaps development should be connected to events in the story more often and have direct correlations to parts of growth instead of a blanket of development over time skips. IE: Pencil has developed ONE way, influences Match in the same way, and after a timeskip ONLY that-
attribute has been worked on. A series of lessons if you will.

PM has always been a series of episodes at its first half. A focus on making these episodes more memorable and character based instead of lore based would be the main edit to the story.
In the second half of PM, Josie's Revenge, the story's stakes heighten and the storyline improves greatly. Still, Four's backstory is in the way, and is discussed in a similar fashion to Johnson's.

With the patch of the lore in YH3, Four's backstory doesn't-
need to be so painfully long and mundane. He just needs to be tricked by the prisms. It's important for Josie to understand this because Four's partially responsible for the extinction of mankind. An extinction she blames Ball and the objects for, even though the objects are-
innocent yet she punishes them due to misinformation. She learns the truth by remembering the prisms as Negative Four, cancel her to stop her revenge. This event is vital, but can be planned out better, and shorter.
The Weight of Time and The Poison in Boinks can stay the same. PIB could be a little more active in its middle, but that's really the only thing that bothers me about that. I often call PIB my most perfect book. I love it dearly.
End of Thread.

Feel free to ask me more about these. I really want to make them, but the time it would take to make these more polished versions would take away from projects in the present. The past can rest. It doesn't need to be perfect.
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