On @AsraRizKhan request.

Why did I come back home?

There is a long backstory here. I wouldn't have shared it if you hadn't asked. Thank your for asking.

I am a child of 80's. I grew up in a Pakistan very few remember, witnessed or experienced.

But then the 90's happened.

My parents are worriers. They would worry from the point I left for work till the point I came home from work.

Working in '91-'98 Karachi made me who I am.

Other than news a few things made an impression.

One was a nagging question.

What would it take to build a product technology company in the chaos of the city I grew up in?

Was that even possible? A reasonable ask? How would one go about it? Did I want to?

Turned out I did.

My bosses at work didn't really agree with my new age ideas. This is Pakistan, I would be reminded.

Looking back I can't really blame them.

90's Pakistan was a cynical Pakistan. Given experiences and data in front of them, they were right.

From a career perspective I had choices.

The partnership track at the firm I worked was open.
The software outsourcing practice I ran was growing.

In 1997 we had billed US$ 250k with a team of 20 @FAST_NUCES graduates. Real $

Insurance clients were interested. Doors open.

Did I really want to put all that at risk by leaving now?

I remember my final conversations at work.

If you leave now, others will take your place. There is no guaranteed that you will be welcome when you come back looking for work.

It's a small market. It won't wait.

I wanted a second opinion but I wanted it from a lens that wasn't biased by local conditions.

I had applied, already had an acceptance.

I found a few generous souls who were willing to lend me money for education and left with a promise to return soon.

My first pitstop was London. Where two acts of divine intervention found me working for @GoldmanSachs

While I had worked as an onshore consultant for British clients, working as an employee was different.

I traded up suits, breakfast, lunch and gyms.

Working at @GoldmanSachs was the first hint that we were missing ingredients in business models I had worked with so far.

Goldman was a few months short of its IPO. The legendary culture was still strong.

Also an accounting firm was no place for a technology practice.

27 December 1998.

I fell in love with @Columbia campus the day I saw it.

Our first morning in New York @syboor took us for a drive and a look at where we would be spending next 18 months of our lives.

All this and more is covered in Reboot. Take a look @SaboorZafir.

4 years later. Nov '02.

London. New York. Orange County, Ashburn, Virginia. We have moved 4 times in 4 years.

The next option is Chicago in a role that is likely to be 60% travel. I am already at 20%. I hate it. I don't want it.

I also want my next move to be our last one.

I want a place to put down roots. Collect memories.

Be close to my parents and not spend Eid with strangers. I would rather spend it family, with my 17 first cousins I shared my childhood with.

Four years have also taught me an important lesson in economics.

I have earned a six figure paycheck + bonus for two years.

As a failed startup founder in recovery, apparently it doesn't go too far.

And despite the fact that we live and work in suburbia, I have to really stretch to find $200 a month back home to my mother.

There is something in that math that doesn't work for me.

Coupled with the fact that my last dental bill was $12,000 and an emergency x-ray at county hospital came with a 6 hour wait, I am not sure if I want this anymore.

My work ethic and lifestyle don't help.

Two hospital trip in recent months have showed us how alone we really are in pardes.

Scrambling for a day sitter so that you can take a loved one to ER.

This is before we start worrying about early morning or late night calls from home bearing news that would break our hearts.

It doesn't take long to make the call.

We have family back home. A roof over our heads and a place to live. We don't have to worry about expenses, immediately.

Our parents always reminded us. You don't need a lot to be happy or feel complete. As long as you have love.

We do.

This was 18 years ago.

It was the 2nd smartest decision I have made in my life. The first was proposing to my wife.

It wasn't easy. The transition back home is always rough. We expected it but it was still difficult

But we were also here for birthdays, weddings and funerals.

Our kids had their grandparents back in their lives. Aunts and uncles as additional anchors. Cousins to play with.

In California we had heard of sunshine dollars. In Karachi and endless supply of falsa, kinoo, anwar ratols and chaunsa was ample compensations.

I ran the numbers one summer.

In @Costco_Deals terms our family of 7 consumed close to $45,000 in fresh fruit every year in Karachi.

Fruit we couldn't get in the US. And we didn't pay $45,000 for it.

And this is just fruits. Before we add desi cuisine and halal meat.

Work was mixed bag. It helped that I worked for myself but we made adjustments.

And yet professionally I grew far more this side of the planet than I could ever have on the other side.

You have to show up, answer the phone, do the hard work and stay true.

I believe that wealth is not money in the bank. Wealth is time, flexibility and control.

If you are a family guy, having your family around you.

There were certainly ups and downs but they were a lot less rougher than they were in CA and VA.

This time I had family on my side.

If you are thinking about coming home come home for yourself. For your children.

Not for your parents. Be selfish. Don't do any favors. You must want it for yourself to survive what comes next.

Be prepared for adjustments. Give yourself time to drive like a rickshaw driver.

It wasn't perfect. It was home. It was all we had. It was enough.

Come back for memories, for the anchors, for putting down roots and growing old.

For iftars with your parents, for spending Eid with loved ones, for funerals, for mangoes in summer.

Come back home for love.