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I love that there& #39;s a lot of awareness right now of how weird Mother& #39;s Day can be for so many, especially for those who want to be mothers but can& #39;t, and those who don& #39;t want to be mothers.
But there& #39;s another category that I think a LOT of people fit into. 1/
I love that there& #39;s a lot of awareness right now of how weird Mother& #39;s Day can be for so many, especially for those who want to be mothers but can& #39;t, and those who don& #39;t want to be mothers.
But there& #39;s another category that I think a LOT of people fit into. 1/
It is very hard to be a woman who feels ambivalent about becoming a mother. There& #39;s not an easy place for us, because I can& #39;t just say "nope, that& #39;s not for me" but I also do NOT have a screaming biological clock or deep desire to have children. 2/
My "biological clock" is more like a nervous email asking for a favor. "Hi, I am so sorry to bother you; but you& #39;re getting older and maybe you should procreate now? But also it could ruin your life and it& #39;s not really your thing, so never mind, pretend I never said anything." 3/
I haven& #39;t had the increasing sense of urgency about having kids that so many people seem to have. It& #39;s like at some point in my late 20s I thought "Yeah, I could maybe have a kid" and then that& #39;s exactly the level that urge stayed at. It hasn& #39;t ever escalated. 4/
Well, that& #39;s kind of a life, because it *has* escalated, somewhat, but ONLY because I& #39;m getting to that "it& #39;s now or never age" where the question seems very dire because the window of opportunity doesn& #39;t last forever. And it does have very serious implications, whichever way. 5/
The thing is: probably the most complicated part of this is the expectations that others have for me. I, personally, have a very "take it or leave it" attitude about having a child. I could have a kid and it could be great or I could not have a kid and that would be great, too.6/
All that to say that having a child/becoming a mother is not the make-or-break issue of my life. I feel more strongly about the idea of getting published, tbh.
But for people around me/society in general, it IS the make-or-break of my life, or it *should* be. 7/
But for people around me/society in general, it IS the make-or-break of my life, or it *should* be. 7/
And it is HARD to buck those expectations. Or potentially buck them. I fucking resent that.
And then there& #39;s the temptation that it would be so much EASIER to just give in and not overthink it and be like FINE YES I& #39;LL BE A MOM IS THAT WHAT YOU ALL WANT 8/
And then there& #39;s the temptation that it would be so much EASIER to just give in and not overthink it and be like FINE YES I& #39;LL BE A MOM IS THAT WHAT YOU ALL WANT 8/
(And this thread isn& #39;t even taking into account how fucking actually hard it is to get pregnant for so many and how even if you make the decision to become a mom that it might not happen for you which is so horribly unfair) 9/
