i don’t wish happy mother’s day to the moms who put their kids in ABA so they can hear their kid say “I love you” while making eye contact and not embarrassing them at the store. Your kid already loves you, they're your kid. It's not their job to make you feel loved. it’s yours

I wish this phenomenon was not real but it is. I seen it expressed in writing multiple times, including in this mother’s day essay from one of the Next for Autism board members. As a parent, it's your responsibility to get to know your child. Feel their love how they express it

As a parent, it's your responsibility to give your child a chance to communicate. If they don't speak, teach them to sign or give them AAC. Learn their language. They’re communicating to you all the time. ABA ignores what your child is communicating through their behaviors.

If your child is having a meltdown at the store, they’re communicating to you that they’re in pain. imagine how much pain you’d have to be in to scream, hit yourself, whatever they’re doing. that’s how they feel. they’re your kid and they need you. their needs must matter to you

i know you’re under a lot of pressure from a lot of different people and societal expectations. i am telling you that it is okay - it is right - to put what your kid is communicating to you over every other thing anyone is saying to you. they don’t know your kid but you need to

my mom got so much shit for how she parented us. she was told she was ruining us, spoiling us, letting us manipulate her. that was all projection. it was hard to trust herself and trust us over everyone and everything else. that took so much strength and love & i’m so grateful