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Part of what makes Mother’s Day hard for so many is that we’re expected to only share positive emotions and happy photos, when the reality is far from it. Many if not most of us will NOT be having happy reunions today for so many reasons... 1/6
... we are bereaved or distant due to COVID or other reasons, or did not have the kind of relationships w/ our moms that make us feel like celebrating. American culture denies us the ability to mourn openly & COVID has stolen the rituals that give us peace at the end of life. 2/6
But what is more exemplary of mother-spirit than providing space for grief? Who is it that we wish for in our lowest moments, that we most often turn to for comfort, who loves us anyway despite our failures? Our mothers (or mother-figures, to be as inclusive as possible). 3/6
I would argue that ALL of us feel “unmothered” in some way, even if our mothers are living & we have healthy relationships with them, because we have been conditioned to hide our sadness & grief & disappointment, because we’re only expected to show the best side of ourselves. 4/6
In this year that has brought so much death and despair due to the virus (but also racism, police brutality, gun violence, etc.) we all have so much unprocessed grief. Let us mother ourselves—and each other—by allowing space to mourn and feel this profound sadness. 5/6
You don’t have to perform happiness on Mother’s Day. The most maternal thing we can do is to feel the feelings and hold each other in our sadness and grief.
If you are feeling bereft today, I see you
6/6
If you are feeling bereft today, I see you
6/6
