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Parents. It& #39;s bad enough that they made me exist but for them to then fuck up whilst raising me and then dislike me for A: being fucked up and B: resenting them because they made me fucked up.
I take credit for raising myself tbf all my mum did was buy me things and (occasionally) do the bare minimum to keep me alive. Other than that her & #39;parenting& #39; revolved around making strange decisions that nobody understood
For example she once put me in disabled classes despite me not being disabled.
She let me batter my undeveloped body and brain with junk food, video game binges unrestricted internet use, no bedtime and as soon as I was old enough to get my hands on them; drugs
She let me batter my undeveloped body and brain with junk food, video game binges unrestricted internet use, no bedtime and as soon as I was old enough to get my hands on them; drugs
So to recap I was incredibly unhealthy, morbidly depressed and anxious unsocialised in etiquette, hygiene, social skills, self control, discipline. Basically the worst fucking guy to be around, so I had no friends no skills no hobbies no life.
A series of events led to me raising and instilling good qualities within myself. Firstly was my morality, I had none, i would bully, steal, lie and fuck with people for my own amusement. When I was 14 I started to commune with god (I should probably mention I& #39;m literally nuts)
And god told me the error of my ways he told me that depression was punishment for being an asshole to everyone all the time. He told me to live "the good life" which basically meant I couldn& #39;t lie, steal or hurt/ peope for no reason. So I started returning all the stuff I stole
Which could get awkward at times so I started giving people stuff in subtle ways like leaving it around them or putting It in bags. I stopped bullying pathetic kids and stopped lying entirely. It worked alright. But I still stick to the good life
I forgot an important part of living the good life is & #39;you always help, when you can& #39; so that means I& #39;m unable to not help people who ask me and unable to not give homeless ppl money or food.
I had to scrap the never lying because people& #39;s feelings got hurt. This morality is entirely deontological, people think I& #39;m very kind because I always help people and give things away and volunteer but the truth is I could just as emotionlessly stab them in the neck
Which I& #39;m often fighting the urge to do but that& #39;s a whole other thing. Basically thats how isaac got his moral compass and quite possibly the only reason I& #39;m not murdering people.
Next thing that happened was I met a girl, a pretty and a nice girl she liked me but I felt nothing for her as she was fucked in the head and seemed more trouble than it was worth to fuck her. Eventually she asks me for help with something incredibly traumatizing
And that obligation to help led to the purest love there ever was, one born out of my promise to be with her (at the time I had never broken a promise). We were ridiculously in love I remember once we went to the top of a car park to look over our shitty town and I realised
I was happy, I had never been happy before and I was overjoyed, but she stood on the edge hoping to fall. She wasnt happy, she was happy to see me and be in love but she wasnt happy. I hope she is now. But I was for the first time and it changed everything
