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WP: We WILL F up. Again and again. No amount of ______ (fill in the blank), will prevent this. We have been raised, trained, encouraged, and validated in white thinking. From this reality, when we are called out, there are things we must do. /1
1. We must respond, NOT react. Reaction is impulsive and defensive, and it causes more harm. Response takes time and thought, and allows the process necessary to really hear what is being said. /2
2. We can't critisize how WE are being called out. Here's where fragility needs to exit the highway. A lot of valid pain and exhaustion fuel these criticisms and we simply need to respect this and only look at OUR behavior, not the behavior of those rightfully offended /3
3. We need to get honest with ourselves. Are we REALLY trying to do better, or are we just following trends? Do we really feel that BLM or do we hashtag bc we think it makes us look safe? Like, time to really inventory our intentions here. /4
3a) If we really value Black lives, then the responsibility is to value the entirety of what this means. Not just valuing the body, per se, but the entire person, to include thought, experience, emotional and spiritual beings, while recognizing /5
that Black people are NOT monolithic, but that the collective experience of being Black in a white dominated culture has many similar consequences and reactions. /6
4) Once we've assessed our solidarity (for a lack of better words; I don't like catch words/phrases) and our intentions, we need to go back to #1, and really listen.
What is the criticism? How are we heard? What message are we sharing? Is it filled with tropes? /7
What is the criticism? How are we heard? What message are we sharing? Is it filled with tropes? /7
Are we white washing? Are we digging in? Are we really being true to who we say we are as allies? ARE WE BEING HUMBLE? On this last part:
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Are we allowing the humiliation of being wrong and being called out to take place? Are we able to handle the criticism with grace? Can we allow ourselves to be wrong, to misspeak, to over step, and THEN, step back and accept responsibility for the harm we have caused? /9
Can we sit, for just a damn minute, and reflect and take in what we are being told? /10
The next steps after this become critical in our commitment. How do we respond? How do we learn, hope do we grow? But most importantly, HOW DO WE APOLOGIZE and amend the offense? /11
There are many ways to do this and I'm not going to speak to them here because a) there are many variables that go into each unique situation and b) I'm still learning and growing myself, so to make suggestions at this point feels to me, slightly arrogant. /12
I will say this: When I am called out, and after I have given a respectable amount of time to consider my offense, I will always apologize and aim to do better. Forgiveness and acceptance are not mine to determine. /13
I will humbly accept the outcome and carry on in my attempts to be a better person. This is my only aim. To listen, learn, and grow.
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