I hate mothers day. I& #39;m reminded that while I love my kids, I don& #39;t love being a mom or the social expectations that come with it. I hate the reminder every year of just how thankless that work is, and even more how rare it is that anyone in my life acknowledges me on this day.
I know im supposed to just adore motherhood. Its supposed to be "hard but worth every minute" and I feel deeply guilty that it isn& #39;t like that for me. My kids are great. But this doesnt feel like a calling or higher purpose for me. It doesn& #39;t complete me.
I hate the annual reminder that I& #39;m probably doing it wrong. I hate the reminder that I am working my ass off and sacrificing so much for something I don& #39;t feel "called" to do.
I hate the reminder that this really is thankless. Even on this special day for *me* there really won& #39;t be any. My kids are with their dad. He certainly isn& #39;t going to acknowledge the day. He didn& #39;t even do it when we were married. Once in 8 years, and only after I sobbed.
It feels greedy and stupid to be upset about it. But I think that& #39;s also part of the socialization of being a mom. We are supposed to give endlessly and selflessly and our job is supposed to be thankless. We do it because we love it.
And honestly? Fuck that.
And honestly? Fuck that.
Even if I adored every moment of motherhood, I still deserve a goddamn medal for the work.