Something that is really frustrating about shopping for books is that I am a profoundly slow reader.

Everyone but me is so fast at reading!

It would honestly be a huge relief if a doctor said, “Your brain is in your head backwards & upside-down! That’s why you’re so slow at reading!”

“We just gotta flip it ‘round & you’ll be speedy as can be just like your normal, fast-at-reading friends!”

In the time it takes me to get to the end of a very bad book, I have developed Stockholm syndrome.

Once saw an infomercial for a speed-reading course. Dude quickly read Tiger Woods’ autobiography & aced a series of quiz questions about it.

He read the whole book in like a minute. Ran his fingers over each page. Shots of a studio audience going, “Wow. Get a load of the smart, fast-reading man.”