There are at least two critical instances of external validation that men could potentially get from our partners, that theoretically we could also get internally.

ONE: Am I USEFUL?

and

TWO: Am I ENOUGH?

Every man needs to feel USEFUL, that we are adding net value to the world.

If we STOP feeling useful, we spiral into depression and despair.

We may start to think "they're better off without me". https://twitter.com/DrLucasBly/status/1391114856925904898?s=20

Every man needs to feel ENOUGH.

If we don't feel enough, we may be perpetually critical of ourselves, especially when we compare ourselves to other men.

We may feel like we are failing at life and doing life "wrong".

This is both a feature and a bug. https://twitter.com/DrLucasBly/status/1391203719098904576?s=20

Yes, it's true, the vast majority of feeling USEFUL and ENOUGH must come from inside.

If a man is on his purpose, working on his mission, he may already feel useful.

If he has what he needs and sees that he should also have enough for later, may already feel enough.

Sometimes life goes sideways though. And it's in those moments, when the right partner can make or break a man.

If you lose your job and your partner says "yeah, you're not being useful" or talks about what the Joneses have that you don't have, that could be devastating.

This is when solipsism and hypergamy could reveal their ugly heads.

If a woman sees her man slipping and MAKES IT WORSE, or CHEATS, or LEAVES HIM, that could literally end a man's life.

If she sees he's feeling down and reminds him he's more than his production, though? Magic.

Men don't generally like to talk about those brief moments on the ascent, when we don't feel USEFUL or we don't feel ENOUGH.

Life is a big mountain to climb. It's in those moments of rest when the right partner can give us strength to push through, or trip us and make us fall.