“Calling out” and “educating” are two entirely separate things that serve two entirely different purposes. Both are important, but it’s important not to mix up the two.

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The first serves to set social boundaries of acceptable behaviour. It might make the target defensive or double down, but that’s fine. The purpose is not to convince them. It’s to show the rest of the social space that something is not acceptable.

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It’s also best done by the person/community directly affected. They’re in a position to explain the pain actions have caused and make their voices heard, which is super important for everyone else to understand why the behaviour is not acceptable.

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Educating people, or changing their minds on the other hand is a longer, slower process that comes from a place of love. It’s mostly for family and friends that you care about - you want to show them they’re not right for their own good as much as anyone else’s.

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Educating someone is most effective when done in private, and if possible (not always) with minimal confrontation. Without humiliation or anger.

The burden of educating should therefore never be placed on the affected community. That’s not fair.

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The burden of educating should ideally fall on people who see something is wrong but don’t directly feel the pain of it. On allies.

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How you educate people is entirely based on your relationship with them. There is no set level of outrage or anger you need to express there. You do what feels correct to convince the person you’re dealing with.
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On the other hand, when an affected community is expressing its anger, or calling out someone, recognise the social purpose of what is happening.

Don’t say “well you need to tone it down to convince people”.