Excuse me, I think it’s really fatphobic of you that you haven’t listened to this weeks #AfterTheTonePod https://linktr.ee/afterthetonepod 

If you are not a mental, a fat, a common or a queer you might not know that it’s a weekly audio assault in which ridiculous people leave messages for me on a burner phone and I try to make sense of their stupid lives. It’s like therapy, but we all get to laugh and it’s free.

Also, please can you call me and tell me the best place you’ve had a Poo, the worst date you’ve had and what your Greggs order is - hopefully no stories that include all three!

Also, also, if you don’t retweet this thread you are homophobic, so be a love is love ally or else I’m telling your local pride festival. Yours sincerely, best wishes, kind regards.