Sometimes i think sj is too kind. When he finally meets yqy, he didnt get angry. Instead, he asked why yqy didnt come for him. Despite being abused by the qius for years, he was willing to listen to yqy's explanation. And he tried to save lqg TWICE even though lqg insulted him

Sj literally tried to help lqg when he himself also prone to qi deviation. And no one believed him. Everyone treated him like he was a murderer. And the fact sj spared the women in qiu household means he's not heartless. If you treat him right he would treat you right.

And remember when meng mo showed SY sj's greatest fear? CMIIW but didnt mengmo shows a scene where yqy was being pierced by arrows and lqg who stabbed himself with his own sword?

And you gotta know that its hinted that qiu jianluo also abused sj in "that" way. Sj is traumatized, and the way nyy calls binghe "a-luo" reminds him of how qiu haitang calls qiu jianluo. And its also mentioned that nyy's behavior resembles qht right?

And despite him believing that yqy abandoned him (which is NOT true), sj forgave him.

And sj knows. He knows what he did is WRONG. And he's willing to take responsibility of his wrong doings. he didn't want to drag anyone to this mess. That's why he told yqy to go to escape the disaster. He wish yqy to run as far as he can

"From now on, never again entangle yourself with another creature like Shen Qingqiu"

Can you guys see how low his self esteem is. He even called himself "a creature"

In conclusion my man needs a fucking therapy