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I didn't mean to upset anyone today, so I'm sorry if that was the case. I took some time to work things out and calm down. I was reading up on everything and trying to draw my own conclusions rather than get yelled at until I accepted someone else's opinion as my own.
But I wanted to share what I learned while reading, because I think having some context will maybe help ease the division that occured today. It's not meant to sway opinions, only provide perspective.
After going through the historical context of the word, it seems that "bi-lesbian" was a result of a biphobic separation in the 1970s in the lesbian community. Before the 1970s lesbian was an umbrella term used for any wlw.
The term lesbian was later redefined by radfem lesbians who wished to exclude bi and pan women from their circles.
With this context, and with how I identify, I personally do not see a problem with bi/pan women reclaiming a label that originally was synonymous to sapphic. But if it makes people uncomfortable, that's understandable too.
I also read up on why people felt it shouldn't be used and it generally boiled down to lesbian identifying women having trauma related to people either saying they'd settle with a man eventually or that their identity was a phase. They wanted their identity to be a stand alone.
This is a valid concern for disliking the term "bi-lesbian" but I still don't think policing labels based on that trauma is right, because the wlw experience is not the same for everyone.
Bi/pan women can see the term lesbian as an umbrella term, because they identify with the definition of wlw. If you say that wlw who've been with men shouldn't use the term lesbian as an umbrella term, I would consider that invalidating within the historical context.
But I can see where lesbians identifying as purely lesbian are coming from. It's invalidating when someone doesn't take your preferences seriously. The schism that happened in the 70s left ripples though, and when you police labels it can be invalidating to other queer women.
I really don't mean to upset anybody by this. I just wanted to make it known where I was coming from. I don't like how easily I fell into an argument with someone earlier today because I'm receptive to learning knew things but I don't like being attacked for trying to understand.
Anyway, if you disagree with me on this, that's fine. I'm not here to change your opinion. I'm here to present another perspective. You can have disagreements and still be cordial. Not everyone needs to share the same opinion.
If we lived life in an echo chamber, we wouldn't be able to even have this discussion. So I'm glad at least to have learned something new and to better understand where the other side was coming from.
