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As an autistic person I very much emphasise with the whole draco-crying-in-the-bathroom scene - With that, and my autistic draco headcanon, I definitely interpret it as draco having a meltdown:
For example, the fact he& #39;s in the bathroom could be viewed as him seeking a predictable sensory experience because of how quiet the room is - in the books we actually find out that draco often visits myrtle in that bathroom to cry, so this isn& #39;t an isolated experience. +
I loathe to use examples from the movie when I strongly dislike how they captured the whole scene, but: The way he loosens his tie can be interpreted as trying to lessen the unpleasant sensory experience of his uniform +
School uniforms are often a sensory hell for autistic people, and when one is already upset, they can feel incredibly restricting and uncomfortable, the feeling of the fabric on your skin can feel almost painful - We see this further here as he takes off his vest.
When one is having a meltdown, they& #39;re terrifying and isolating, and you can feel totally out of control - the way he splashes water on his face can be seen as seeking sensory input, something he can control, something to try to ground himself.
I know that everyone cries, but I do want to say I can definitely draw similarities with this scene and my own personal experience, and I think the way he is sobbing, the sheer hopelessness + loneliness definitely makes me think its a meltdown, in the context of this hc
When someone is having a meltdown it can be extremely hard to process.. anything. I think we can definitely see this here, the way he stares at Harry for a few moments, sort of trying to process it, to make sense of what is happening, because he& #39;s already so overwhelmed.
Speaking from experience, Its definitely embarrassing to be witnessed when you& #39;re having a meltdown, to be perceived at your lowest - even when you know that the person loves you. So obviously its going to be extremely upsetting for Draco to have Harry, his rival, witness this.
And so once he& #39;s sort of processed the fact that Harry is there, he would be feeling extremely humiliated and hurt and angry. he& #39;s also still actively having a meltdown, he hasn& #39;t had time to calm down.
Fighting and hexes are the context in which harry makes sense - its what they do, those are the rules - So of course Draco hexes him - he& #39;s incredibly upset, and in his head it makes sense.
he& #39;s already very upset, and the duel would be a massive sensory overload for him, all the noise and flashes of light, etc - he wouldn& #39;t really have time to think about what he& #39;s doing, (so ofc he& #39;s not going to pause in the middle of it and think "hey! I shouldnt hex him!")
He doesnt want to back down, he& #39;s already embarrassed and angry about what Harry witnessed, and so I imagine he& #39;d kind of just be..frantically throwing spells, yk?
(Btw, it is not at all my intention to infantilise him here - I am autistic myself, and this is just my interpretation. when I talk about him being unable to process things, that is specifically in the context of a meltdown - I don& #39;t mean to imply we can never process things x)
Anyway this thread was incredibly self indulgent, but if u actually read it, thank u!! This is all from personal experience, everyone experiences meltdown differently ofc I just think its interesting to look at that scene in this context
