My roommate is making out with her boyfriend help me

I CAN HEAR IT ALL OH MY GOSH

THEY ARE SMACKING LIPS AND GIGGLING

WHATS SO FUNNY?? HETEROSEXUALITY???

Okay they stopped ??? I don’t hear anything

Now they are cooking? ???

THEY ARE MAKING PANCAKES???

Okay they aren’t making pancakes …? They decided to not cook?

“I’m not really hungry” she says.

Okay. I am. Make me pancakes.

And they are kissing again

Don’t get me wrong I think her guy is great but I don’t need to hear him sighing every ten seconds like … I think I’m gonna shuffle and make noise to let them know I’m here

The shuffling is not working . The lips are back to smacking with increased fervor.

I’m a little peeved cuz it’s like 1am and also a little jelly cuz ya know I’ve been single for quite a hot minute

I’m going to pretend the sighing and smacking is just because they are having an existential crisis while eating some delicious pasta …

Or I’m gonna clear my throat or pretend to cough to get their attention…like this cannot go on or I might be ear witness to conception

Okay I’m going to play some BTS loudly and see what happens

Okay update: so I played “Baepsae” at full volume on my phone and my roommate did stop making out with her guy and came to knock on my door and I stopped the song and hid under my blankets and pretended to be asleep like a coward and like nothing happened, cuz I’m a PUSSAY

Buying noise cancelling earphones tomorrow