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My roommate is making out with her boyfriend help me
I CAN HEAR IT ALL OH MY GOSH
THEY ARE SMACKING LIPS AND GIGGLING
WHATS SO FUNNY?? HETEROSEXUALITY???
Okay they stopped ??? I don’t hear anything
Now they are cooking? ???
THEY ARE MAKING PANCAKES???
THEY ARE MAKING PANCAKES???
Okay they aren’t making pancakes …? They decided to not cook?
“I’m not really hungry” she says.
Okay. I am. Make me pancakes.
“I’m not really hungry” she says.
Okay. I am. Make me pancakes.
And they are kissing again
Don’t get me wrong I think her guy is great but I don’t need to hear him sighing every ten seconds like … I think I’m gonna shuffle and make noise to let them know I’m here
The shuffling is not working . The lips are back to smacking with increased fervor.
I’m a little peeved cuz it’s like 1am and also a little jelly cuz ya know I’ve been single for quite a hot minute
I’m a little peeved cuz it’s like 1am and also a little jelly cuz ya know I’ve been single for quite a hot minute
I’m going to pretend the sighing and smacking is just because they are having an existential crisis while eating some delicious pasta …
Or I’m gonna clear my throat or pretend to cough to get their attention…like this cannot go on or I might be ear witness to conception
Or I’m gonna clear my throat or pretend to cough to get their attention…like this cannot go on or I might be ear witness to conception
Okay I’m going to play some BTS loudly and see what happens
Okay update: so I played “Baepsae” at full volume on my phone and my roommate did stop making out with her guy and came to knock on my door and I stopped the song and hid under my blankets and pretended to be asleep like a coward and like nothing happened, cuz I’m a PUSSAY
Buying noise cancelling earphones tomorrow 
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