thinking about timeskip faraskye tonight. buckle up, it's been a while (1/14)

kay and ema don't talk over the 7yg (being messy exes and all) but kay learns about ema's situation through miles and trucy, and resolves to become a defense attorney and confront ema about how she's changed, just as phoenix did for miles all those years ago

when they finally meet, kay wants to know exactly what caused ema to become so distant and bitter, considering how sweet she was for the two years they were together. kay feels entitled to an explanation and DEMANDS closure for why ema is now so abrasive

the reason for ema's change is twofold.

firstly ema believes that after failing the forensics exam, her life has no meaning except for how she can repay phoenix/miles/lana for helping her in rfta

secondly ema is just now realizing how harsh the world is and how draining it is-

to be peppy and cheerful no matter what the circumstances are. after 20 years of supressing her mean side, it's such a weight off of her shoulders to let it out. she finally learns she doesn't have to mask her personality from anybody and the feeling is LIBERATING

in response to kay's question, ema responds with the second reason for her change. after all, ema's feelings towards phoenix/miles/lana are her own business and no one else's, not even kay is entitled to know that

however, ema forgot that kay is the yatagarasu

unable to stifle her curiosity, kay did some digging and discovered ema's trauma from sl-9 and rfta. she makes the connection between that and ema's current attitude and assumes that ema will magically return to her 19-yo self if phoenix, miles, and lana are repaid.

but that's wrong. even if by some miracle kay is able to whisk away all of ema's problems, she'll never be able to return to her old self.

and more importantly, she doesn't *want* to. she's perfectly content with her current support network. she throws snackoos at apollo. she-

babysits trucy. she's worsties-slowly-becoming-besties with klav. she smokes weed with phoenix. she has people around her who love her for who she is. kay isn't a part of ema's world anymore, all she is now is a painful reminder of ema's past hollow shell

ema tells kay that she feels more relaxed now than the past 25 years of her life. and that includes when she and kay were dating.

kay doesn't take it well. after all, she put everything into that relationship with ema. she was open. she was vulnerable. she was trusting.

and to hear ema spit in the face of all of that is an arrow to the heart. during all that time, ema was hiding her insecurities, masking her personality, not trusting kay to support her no matter how awful she thought her real personality was

it makes kay sick to think about.

and it makes her regret ever becoming a defense attorney to speak to ema again

apparently devoting your whole life to the pursuit of a single person and placing all your eggs in that single basket wasn't the best idea.

the conversation ends and kay runs off sobbing. she expected to get ema to confide in her about her feelings and for them to reconcile after their messy breakup 7 years ago.

but now all there is a realization that their entire relationship was built on a broken premise.

okay i PROMISE i didn't mean to make this thread as angsty at first. that's just how it wound up.

kay and ema do get a happy ending in my canon but if i went further in this thread my ramblings would be even more unfocused than they already are.

thank you