#MothersDay thoughts on being an orphan, survivor& #39;s guilt,reaching your mother& #39;s age when she died. A https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧵" title="Thread" aria-label="Emoji: Thread">

Backstory: My family got into a vehicle crash that killed many passengers, including my parents & sister. Father saved my brother& #39;s life, mother saved mine. A tragedy 1/

I was 8 when they died.
So, I& #39;m always moody during Mother/Father& #39;s Day.
But it hit me extra hard this morning. I& #39;m turning 30 this year. Mama was 33 when she gave up her life for me!

Spent the morning in the shower crying as I realize this. I& #39;m reaching her age! 2/

Being the older sibling in a pair of orphans is tough. You gain the mindset and burden of parenting for your little sibling and yourself. I have that dread/hope that I did what I could to raise us as well as I could have. 3/

I& #39;m so grateful a former colleague introduced me to the term Survivor& #39;s Guilt. To help articulate my compulsion to work my butt off, to be hyper independent, to not fail, to make sure that sacrifice was worth it.
It can be a harmful mindset I& #39;m trying to untangle 4/

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👉🏽" title="Rückhand Zeigefinger nach rechts (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Rückhand Zeigefinger nach rechts (mittlerer Hautton)">Give yourself the parenting you wish you had.
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👉🏽" title="Rückhand Zeigefinger nach rechts (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Rückhand Zeigefinger nach rechts (mittlerer Hautton)">Talking to your inner child that was hurt and longing.
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👉🏽" title="Rückhand Zeigefinger nach rechts (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Rückhand Zeigefinger nach rechts (mittlerer Hautton)">Telling yourself, it& #39;s safe(r) now, it& #39;s OK to let go of the fear.
These are things I& #39;m trying to do for myself now. 5/

So for those people who have complicated thoughts and feelings about Mother& #39;s Day:
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💐" title="Blumenstrauß" aria-label="Emoji: Blumenstrauß"> I see you
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💐" title="Blumenstrauß" aria-label="Emoji: Blumenstrauß"> You are not alone
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💐" title="Blumenstrauß" aria-label="Emoji: Blumenstrauß"> It& #39;s totally OK to have those feelings.

6/End thread.