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The other day I had a big rant about the show #LoveOnTheSpectrum and how it doesn’t represent my experience of dating & relationships as an #ActuallyAutistic person. So I’ve written a thread about it. 
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This is just my personal, individual experience – the entire point is that every autistic person will be different.
(CW: coercion; abuse; non-consensual sex)
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(CW: coercion; abuse; non-consensual sex)
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I’ve been with my fiancé for years now, and I had a few serious/semi long-term boyfriends before that.
As much as I want to say ‘OMG not all autistic people struggle with dating I’ve had relationships so clearly I don’t’…this isn’t exactly true.
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As much as I want to say ‘OMG not all autistic people struggle with dating I’ve had relationships so clearly I don’t’…this isn’t exactly true.
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It’s just that my struggles weren’t necessarily visible.
And the struggles I've experienced in romantic/sexual relationships have been accompanied by some distinct advantages that aren't there in the (much more confusing) world of friendships with other women.
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And the struggles I've experienced in romantic/sexual relationships have been accompanied by some distinct advantages that aren't there in the (much more confusing) world of friendships with other women.
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So I’ll contrast my experience of dating/relationships with men to my much less successful attempts at socialising with and befriending women, because I think this highlights how the ‘rules’ of sex, dating and relationships have actually helped me.
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It's when I don’t have a set of rules for social interactions that I fall apart a bit.
Now, there are some really uncomfortable gender norms/stereotypes (not sure what to call them) coming up here, so brace yourself.
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Now, there are some really uncomfortable gender norms/stereotypes (not sure what to call them) coming up here, so brace yourself.
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As a white cishet female who is apparently a '7/10' attractive (my first boyfriend told me that – what a f***ing charmer; more on that later) I didn’t have too much of a problem finding men who were interested in me.
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