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I was brought up to be a bigoted Christian communist

I was taught that Americans, regardless of race, gender, or how they got there, are irredeemably inhuman, "animals who live in houses", and wester Europeans aren't much better

I was taught that men and women have gender roles that they must adhere to, I was taught that women are inferior to men, I was taught that homosexuals and tans people should be executed because that's what the Bible apparently says,

I was taught that the world is controlled by "the powers that be" who supposedly were the Jews and therefore I was taught to be racist against Jews. I was also taught to be racist against Asian people, tho I don't remember why

Africans were cool because "blacks aren't thieves and murderers like Gypsies are"

When stuff like "social justice" and "identity politics" came along, I naturally gravitated towards listening to "right wing" influencers instead, partially because I was repulsed to hear someone supporting gay people

and partially because hearing that I ("straight white cis male") was the root of all evil didn't feel too good

Those "right wing" influencers that I was listening to were mainly people like @thunderf00t and Sargon of Akkad, and to a lesser extent @jordanbpeterson and even self-proclaimed clowns like @iamRucka

I'm putting "right wing" in quotes because I don't like labels

The first and most difficult-to-learn thing that I learned from them was to drop religion. It took me about 6 years to declare myself an atheist, starting from a Christian who would devote every action in his life to "salvation"

About 2 years in, my faith had weakened enough that I could accept other ideas in parallel to religion. This allowed me to accept the main political beliefs promoted by these particular "right wingers": freedom and science

Things came slowly. Here are a few examples:

The belief in freedom led me to say "ok so gays will burn in hell, but they should be free to make that choice"

Acceptance of science then led me to ask "wait, if gays are born like that, and it isn't a choice, why would it be punished?"

And this went on to erode my faith further: "God made them, and he's all-powerful, but he doesn't like how they were made, so wtf. Sounds like BS"

The "right wingers" taught me that science demands evidence. There is no serious evidence for "powers that be", therefore they don't exist. Therefore they can't be the Jews. And that killed the antisemitism that I was brought up with.

"SJWs" said that women should reject gender roles. I went to "right wing" influencers wanting to hear the opposite. Instead, I was taught more freedom: each person should be free to chose whether to follow gender roles or not, or follow any other life philosophy

A belief in freedom, combined with a belief in evidence-based reasoning, is also what turned me from a commie to a capitalist.

These are some things I leaned from these "right wingers" (again, as they were labeled at the time), but this list is far from exhaustive.

I think this story has a lot to teach others.

First off, this is why I don't like "canceling" people. You don't know what background they're coming from.

I was a bigot indoctrinated authoritarian Christian communist, and IMO, the most desirable outcome for people like I was is to make these people change their beliefs.

I can assure you that calling me out would not have helped to turn me around, nor would blocking me, or trying to make me feel bad for holding the beliefs that I was convinced were accurate.

Secondly, people can change.

I once had 2 classmates, dude and girl. They were close friends with each other, semi-friends with me. At 13 or thereabouts, I remember casually dropping "homosexuals should be executed" in a conversation with them. They were low key horrified

But they were already used to my beliefs so they weren't all that surprised

Fast forward to when we were 18, they came out to me as gay and lesbian respectively, in separate conversations. I was the first person that both of them came out to,

the first person they were comfortable enough around to. They were good friends with each other all along, but I was the first person they came out to

My point isn't to brag, my point it to emphasize how much I had changed. How much people can change

This reinforces my belief that people shouldn't get canceled. I know first hand how much a person can change. Anyone can change. We should help people change, not cancel them.

So what about the people who raised me? How is my relationship with them now?

I never challenged the "Americans are animals who live in houses" phrase. I never challenged the "gays should be executed" phrase. I never challenged the "Jews secretly control us" claim

Despite this, I haven't heard these phrases in 3 years at least. I've managed to shift their beliefs. Not as much as mine have shifted, but a lot.

And I think this is where I have the most to teach others: how did I turn these people around?

Firstly, their believes were not acquired rationally. Therefore, IMO, they can't be modified with rational arguments, and certainly not with direct arguments.

Here are some things I did:

To combat their ideas of gender roles, I talked about women I admire, such as @LisaSu , @Gwynne_Shotwell , @YingShirleyMen1 , @CathieDWood

I talked about their achievements in the 1st half of the story, making sure to drop the first "she" only towards the end.

Setting up an image of a person they would admire, before letting them know it's a woman. I see it as a reverse of the "poisoning the well" manipulation technique

To combat homophobia, I respond unfavorably when I hear homophobic claims. Things like "yeah fucking bullshit" or "my ass" or "lmao who cares", depending on context. With homophobes my age I can go further to replies like "bruh stop being an idiot" or "chill out, dude, tf"

Indicating that their belief on the subject is unintelligent ("idiot/stupid"), unintelligent to such an extent that it isn't worth it for me to engage in a full argument ("my ass"), or suggesting that their comments make them look insecure ("chill tf out")

I make sure to never make it seem like I am insecure, so "stop being stupid" works, but "stop acting like you have shit for brains" would be a high-enough-effort reply to make me look insecure

And of the things that I do say, I say them loud enough to be heard, but quiet enough to seem like I'm saying them for myself only

I also make sure to never question their morality (never reply with things like "stop being an asshole") because it just doesn't work.

Stupid as this all sounds, it erodes their conviction in their homophobic world view. And because their view can't be supported with rational arguments, the damage which my manipulation causes can never be repaired

The real life results that I've managed to achieve always include, at the very least, a greatly increased level of tolerance.

This technique can be used for challenging other believes as well

To challenge anti-science convictions, I tell stories about the application of the scientific method without telling them what I'm actually talking about. Stories like:

"This one dude tried to calculate the age of the Earth by looking at how long it takes rocks to cool in the lab and he got like 16k years, but then they discovered radioactive decay which replenishes the heat inside the Earth which is why his calculation is wrong

And then they discovered a crystal that in the lab can form with uranium but not with lead, but in mines they find the same crystal containing both uranium and lead, and uranium can decay into lead which is how those crystals in the mine came to be,

they formed with all uranium which then decayed into lead. And they know how long it takes uranium to turn into lead in the lab, so by looking at how much uranium is left compared to lead, they can calculate how long ago the crystal was formed"

I have many more stories like this, and I've had great success when using them to make people believe in science and erode their belief in religion.

Again, just make sure they don't realize that you are telling them the story with the purpose of "converting" them, or they'll precondition themselves to believe your story is false.

Anyway, in conclusion, this is why I don't like canceling people, this is how I know people can change, and these are the techniques that I have used, with great success, to get people to change.

Thank you to @TeslaOwls for his post comparing Christianity with a cult, it inspired me to finally write this thread

People who I think might find this thread interesting include @enn_nafnlaus , @truth_tesla , @Kristennetten and @iliketeslas

There goes any chance of me every un-anon-ing this account lmao