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im going to punch supermarkets in the dick
i worked in a supermarket, trust me, they DO have dicks and theyre really bad dicks too
one time i left my phone in a room with a supermarket dick and i came back and the dick was on my phone looking through my gallery. i was like "youre not gonna find anything there, you dick" and the dick dropped the phone all disappointed. have you ever seen a disappointed dick??
i didnt do anything then because i would have been fired for punching the supermarket dick but i regret missing the opportunity. they dont just show any old layman the supermarket dick
if i was so inclined i would take a bottle of pills, sneak in and feed them to the dick. thats bound to cause some chaos. imagine going to the store and finding all your favourite items are out of stock. thats dick sabotage
remember the toilet paper shortage of 2020?? you all thought it was panic buying. you were dead wrong. as dead as the toilet paper dick supplying the supermarkets, which they had to replace with a genetic clone, like big boss getting replaced by solid snake
if only supermarket life was as simple as the metal gear franchise
theres more than just dicks back there, you know. i never got to see them but i heard the rumours among the employees enough to know for certain that some of it was true
one guy talked about all the tape they had around this one room next to where he worked. the tape would get replaced every other week or so, around the time any missing trollies were restocked, so we all had our suspicions
there was another guy who'd worked there for like 6 years, idk how the wages were trash, but he walked around the place saying "the jelly, the jelly"
anyway so the dick i dealt with was apparently pretty docile. once or twice it made a palette, like those wooden things
i never talked to the folks from the freezer section who dealt with all the cold produce. not sure i want to know about the cold dicks
i'd love to hear your stories about the supermarket dicks so retweet this thread with your dick stories
hashtag #supermarketdicks
