I genuinely think the concept of the gender-exclusive safe space did some damage to our ability to stop thinking about gender as black and white. The binary it presents is “safe” vs “unsafe” and that’s almost as destructive a binary to enforce as male/female.

We also straight up do not reckon with the way in which exclusion based on fear of/discomfort with others is a stinking mire for the enactment of racism, transmisogyny, transphobia, etc. Bigotry has ALWAYS been stoked with fear and discomfort. Does your vulnerability have biases?

We make a lot of decisions based on vibes. Creepy vibes, predatory vibes, threatening vibes... And we often cite people’s privileged identities almost retroactively to justify our fear of them. Are you SURE their marginalized identities didn’t stoke your fears? How do you know?

How much do you trust that your negative, fearful reactions to people’s masculinity is not going to still ping, or ping harder, because someone is assigned male or has testosterone-influenced body features or is GNC or is a person of color that you’re racistly masculinizing?

What’s the solution? I dunno. I just think the concept of the gender-exclusive safe space as a solution to fear is failing people, and actively fostering biases that hurt the people who need more safety in their lives.