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This is a thread on my experience with mental health issues. I hope me talking about them makes some of you realise how important this stuff is and to talk to someone.
To start off - For the past few years I have really struggled with anxiety and have always been kept up at night thinking about if my friends are actually my friends or not, do they like me that type of stuff. I would also hate basically any sort of social interaction which made
me hate going to school even more. I would feel so awkward/nervous to speak to just about anyone as I didn& #39;t know many people and I hated speaking to a teacher especially when a class is silent which then would make me the centre of attention (the worst thing I can think of).
This lead to me starting to have a massive decline in my grades at school and my parents would then get onto my back and I would be under immense pressure and would never speak up about it because I was scared to talk about it to anyone, not just my parents.
Getting worse and worse grades lead to worse and worse motivation which started building up a depression. When multiple bad occasions had happened (death) I got extremely down and never fully expressed my emotions or told anyone at all. Not even the people I trust the most.
I then started getting worried about losing everyone I know and love. This made me scared of meeting new people and getting attached to them as I often do this fairly quickly without being able to hold myself back. I also lost total motivation for going to school in Y10 but
I still would not tell a single person, put a smile on my face to hide the pain and carried on with life. This started impacting me even more as I was getting more and more fed up of life in general. More and more stress was pilling up which made me less and less motivated for
anything at all. This lead to me becoming suicidal for the first time and I literally started self harming but I got too scared and I stopped cutting my wrists. I told no one about this, not even my best mates. I then continued getting worse and worse mentally, not telling anyone
which obviously did not help at all but I was scared to open up to anyone. I then told a friend or two about my mental health issues because I really needed some help, they did help but sadly not to the extent I needed but that was all my fault as I couldn& #39;t fully open up to
anyone at all. During Y11, the last year of school, I was feeling so much worse and when the school year ended I was so down to the point I couldn& #39;t leave my room for basically anything at all, I didn& #39;t eat and I barely drank. I really was missing my friends(this is last year)
Then the first lockdown came around, I was still made to do school work despite leaving school and I got made to do too much at times and if I spoke up on it I would get shut down instantly no matter what. (Still didn& #39;t bring up mental health). The first lockdown was bad for me.
Leading up to the start of college I was insanely worried because I hated the idea of not knowing many people and was worried about getting there, getting back and just social interaction in general. However I was very lucky and had two of my best mates go with me which helped.
However it turned out that the course was not the one for me, in December I stopped enjoying life as a whole from there. College was the main reason, I was always stressed, no motivation for literally anything everything (literally getting out of bed was hard).
My mental health quickly started to deteriorate and I was at my lowest, I felt alone as always but I had to tell someone , I was seconds away from ending it all until a friend messaged me and called me and got 2 other friends on call. They saved my life. I can never thank them
enough. From then I carried on getting that low that I wanted to kill myself, I got to that point 10-20 times leading up to last week. I had the support of so many people which was overwhelming and surprising because I never expected anyone to care about me at all.
There has been one person who has kept me alive in the past year and he has been the only person I could completely open up and everyone needs a friend like him. Make sure you find someone like him and make sure that they are always there for you and you are always there for them
I haven& #39;t gone over everything but that& #39;s the most part I hoped opening up helps some of you get the confidence to do so yourself.
The main people who have been helping me are -
@Ifcash03 @sufcleo @Hp_SUFC @jas_thfc
The only ones who use the app but I just wanted to say a thank you to those 4. They have really helped me out.
@Ifcash03 @sufcleo @Hp_SUFC @jas_thfc
The only ones who use the app but I just wanted to say a thank you to those 4. They have really helped me out.
End of thread.
