This piece is very very good https://twitter.com/anne_theriault/status/1391085551688863748

V. important: societal expectations of mothers/motherhood are not static & have changed so that mothers are expected to do more (often with less) -

Re: often with less: thinking of how people - esp. highly educated professionals - often live far from extended family who can assist with childcare - & that decreased community cohesion, etc means young mothers often have fewer close social connections to help, or help as much

So noting (as a recent NY Times piece does) that financial considerations make motherhood hard, potentially out-of-reach - seems like it tells only part of the story re: contemporary difficulties there

& so closing, as that piece does, with a Madonna-&-child image, the (writer) mother nursing her infant - as if the most important difficulties, or the ones worth talking about, have been solved by the mere fact of the mother-child relationship -

Ah, I’m not feeling super-articulate on this point atm - but for now, I can certainly see why that ending might stick in one’s craw. Also seems like ending on a false, or at least overly-idealized, note

(I am not a mother & most likely won’t be, for multiple reasons. But ofc I am close with many women who are! Enough that I’ve heard that parenting an infant is hard, hard, & often isolating work - doesn’t always feel too great in multiple ways -

No matter how much you love your baby! & so writing as if this isn’t the case, which - I would argue - that NY Times piece does - is... unhelpful, etc. But again, not a mom, can’t speak to the above from direct personal experience)

Oh, & so I agree with this thread - but it’s not that motherhood itself isn’t very difficult. It’s that the *ideal* of motherhood (esp white motherhood) is unrealistic & almost impossible to feel one is fully living up to. Seems to me https://twitter.com/kaitlin_m_ruiz/status/1391043253017907201