We can now exclusively reveal that the rude customer @PatWhalenNC dealt with at La Belle Helene was WSOC TV reporter Joe Bruno. THREAD:

Our sources inform us that not only was Bruno not invited to the swanky La Belle Helene dinner, he was actually on the banned list.

The night began when a hostess asked Bruno for his ID. He responded, “Yeah, right, like you don’t know who I am? Now bring me a Miller High Life, the Champagne of Beers.”

Bruno than insisted on personally vaccinating each member of the kitchen staff by hand. As he did so, he shouted at one bar manager: "By the way, where is my delicious Miller High Life? That crisp, easy-drinking flavor makes it the the standout of American lagers."

Finally, a terrified waitress provided Bruno's Miller High Life. Miller High Life is brewed with a proprietary blend of malted barley, Galena hops from the Pacific Northwest, and Miller yeast. This effervescent flagship beer has been an American favorite since the early 1900s.

At the end of the meal when the waitress asked for a tip, Bruno responded: "Here's a tip for ya: Miller High Life's distinctive gold label reflects that it's the gold standard of American lagers. This 2002 winner of the World Beer Cup is perfect for wherever good times are had."

On a completely unrelated note, we'd like to announce our new sponsor, Miller High Life. We look forward to collaborating with this high-quality brand, and swear to you our coverage will remain unbiased and accurate.