I’m going to be 50 tomorrow. Not bad going for someone born blue with a duff heart and given a death sentence by various doctors for different things over the years. I’m stubborn like that

I was thinking back over my (almost) half a century on earth and remembered my ambitions, those dream (or otherwise jobs). Here, in a dizzying thread where I start to wonder what on earth I was thinking, are some of them

A trapeze artist. I’ve always been fascinated with the circus ever since I could sing Nellie the Elephant, that exceptionally good packer. Slight problem, outfit would have been fab but I have vertigo. Oh, and no sense of balance or natural grace

Antiques dealer. Started at the age of 10, led to other stories on this thread - journo, author, radio and TV work - but I just loved discovering beautiful items and knowing their history. And ownership. I loved wearing my fabulous Schiaparelli necklace before selling it

Historian. I’m nosy, I always want to know more and I also like answers. I’m great at being solitary and just curling up reading. Mid-way through my 3rd degree, my literary agent told me to turn my thesis idea into a book. Really wish I had, didn’t write the book or finish degree

TV presenter. Flashback to the school locker rooms after swimming (no nudity involved!). No idea why that’s where I chose to start imaginary presenting but I did like the acoustics and those big hairdryers. Oh, and I did end up on various TV shows. Scripted some, too

Author. My TV ideas were about x for beginners and my books were mainly of the How To variety. I wrote a few different ones, also commissioned, edited and published other people’s

Journalist. Before I became an author, I wrote a few thousand articles, starting with work experience on my local paper. I edited two national magazines, launching one of them, a glossy food mag. I loved it, esp travelling, eating, drinking and asking questions. Helping people

BUT I was too ethical for one career path. I had a front page story, would have made my career but ruined someone else’s and just for the sake of my ego, no lives or businesses at risk. I rewound the tape in front of the now horrified politician and deleted it. I slept at night

Singer: Before I started writing properly, I was going to be a singer, an opera singer. I sang in two top London choirs, was in the semi-chorus for one, was paid for solos and... a drunk-driver ended that dream

Astronaut. I’m scared of the monsters in Doctor Who because who knows what’s out there, have been known to get travel sick and have vertigo. I also look far too pale in white, it would never have worked!

Academic and/or teacher. I did teach adults but never completed my teacher training thanks to a riot... Easier to blame the student, especially one who saw too much and, naively, thought the kids should be protected from abuse at home and school. I got my pupils to read, though!

Alcohol. Well, anything to do with alcohol, really. I was a wine rep, wrote/write cocktail recipes and now write and talk about whisky and gin any chance I get. Beer, too. I also drink it

Nun. Non-sequential but how could I forget wanting to be a nun?? I watched The Sound of Music, fell in love with Christopher Plummer and realised I’d never be seen to have a bad hair day or have to think about what to wear & I’d sing all day. That was my 6th form career meeting!

With apologies to Mr Parker for being forced to find a nun to speak to me for my careers talk, who basically told me not to be a nun - and that was the end of that. I wear hats for bad hair days now

There would have been others, some weird, most wonderful, intended career paths over the years. I hope I’ve entertained and educated those who have read, seen or heard my work. But I will never, ever fly on a trapeze. Or be a nun. I will, however, always share a drink with you