Types of kids on every Little League Basketball team and their basketball skills rated from 1 to 5

1. The kid who is a head taller and 10 pounds heavier than everybody else. There may be some birth certificate forgery going on here. Kid sound like Ving Rhames talon bout sum “I’m 6.”

Off. Rating: 4
Def. Rating: 4

2. The kid who eats, sleeps, and breathes basketball. They know all the players, all the rules, and have perfect form. You can tell one of their parents would’ve had a full ride to Mizzou if it wasn’t for that knee injury.

Off. Rating: 5
Def. Rating: 4

3. The kid who would rather be playing video games. They’re clearly not built for this. Every time they get bumped or fall down, they have an emotional breakdown! Happens at least twice a game.

Off. Rating: 1
Def. Rating: 1.5

4. The kid who has absolutely no idea what’s happening. They thought mom signed them up for swimming! WTF! They be on the court and just stand there lost the whole time.

Off. Rating: 1
Def. Rating: 1

5. The kid with the freshest gear/shoes. Sometimes, this is also the kid who eats, sleeps, and breathes basketball. But more often, they just have parents who got suckered by the salesman at Sports Authority.

Off. Rating: 3
Def. Rating: 3

6. The kid who simply likes playing and talking with the other kids. They would have a good time regardless of the sport because it’s all about the experience and being with other kids. (This is Little Jide btw)

Off. Rating: 2.5
Def. Rating: 3.5

7. The kid who really just wants aggressive physical contact at all times. They should be in martial arts but that class filled early. These kids might not make a shot all season but they are league leaders in rebounds and steals (and fouls).

Off. Rating: 1
Def. Rating: 4

8. The kid who is always looking to their dad for approval. This kid could go 17/18 from the field and 9/10 from FT but the whole game, their dad looks like this . And, instead of “good game,” their dad will only talk about the missed shots.

Off. Rating: 5
Def. Rating: 5

9. The kid who has never heard of passing in their life. Coach will be like, “your teammate was open, you have to pass it”. They respond like Mariah.

Off. Rating: 4.5
Def. Rating: 2

11. The kid with the physical attributes (tall, fast) who looks like they’re gonna be good but after seeing them play, it’s clear that basketball is not their sport.

Off. Rating: 1.5
Def. Rating: 2

12. The kid with a parent who has a “special” relationship with the coach. The kids might not notice it, but the parents peep game quick!

Off. Rating: 3.5 (but they get attention like their 5’s)
Def. Rating: 2

13. Last but not least, the kid with the most heart. They take losing personally! They might not be the best but they take the game SERIOUSLY! They show the most improvement over the season.

Off. Rating: 3
Def. Rating: 4

Final thoughts

a. This is based on my considerable experiences as a YMCA parent for the last 4 years and my experience as a coach of basketball and soccer.

b. This list is not exhaustive.

c. These types are not mutually exclusive.

d. Add more!