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3 Simple Ways To Overcome Failure in Life
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“Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again.” as the saying goes. It’s easier to be said than done, right?
Everyone is afraid to fail even those who already failed gazillion times. Trust me. No one wants to fail. Who would want to be in a situation where people will not believe in you because you failed them? Who would want to experience extreme humiliation? You? Successful people?
No one. I never even want to picture myself in a situation wherein a lot of people will lose faith in me because I never succeeded. I don’t want to be in a part of life wherein I was not able to achieve my goals and dreams in life. I don’t want to fail.
Also, there will be someone in our lives who really looks up to us and we don’t want to disappoint them. Plus, there are people who are secretly praying for you to fail...and no one ever wants to give them satisfaction. However, life happens, we fail. F*ck life.
No one is ready for failure. I tell you, I can attest to that. Well, you could argue that you just don’t have a backup plan but sometimes even though we have backup’s backup, we still fail.
When we fail, you feel all the pain; pain from humiliation, betrayal, regrets, etc. After that, you may feel a hollow space on your chest. All the feelings you felt the very moment you fail are there but only hiding. You’ll start to console yourself. It’s okay to fail.
Everyone fails. It’s okay because I learn from it. Although...it still hurts.
It’s normal to feel that way. Luckily, you’ll stumble on this blog asking how to overcome failure? But before we jump in to that let’s ask google about its own definition of failure and then we’re going to define it on our own.
Meaning of Failure
According to Google, failure ( https://www.google.com/search?q=failure&rlz=1C1JZAP_enPH902PH902&oq=fail&aqs=chrome.0.69i59l2j69i57j0i433l2j69i61j69i60l2.5024j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8)">https://www.google.com/search... is the lack of success. Three simple words and we thought it bears a simple meaning but apparently it’s not.
According to Google, failure ( https://www.google.com/search?q=failure&rlz=1C1JZAP_enPH902PH902&oq=fail&aqs=chrome.0.69i59l2j69i57j0i433l2j69i61j69i60l2.5024j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8)">https://www.google.com/search... is the lack of success. Three simple words and we thought it bears a simple meaning but apparently it’s not.
A common stigma is that you are successful if you are rich. You are successful if you can travel, have a house on your own, and a car. However, not everyone who’s rich considered themselves successful. Success varies.
We have our own definition of success. As for me, for example, I wanted my novels to be known all around the world. That& #39;s my main dream. That’s when I considered myself that I succeeded. I’m sure you have your own definition of success too.
If you don’t have one, find something that you enjoy doing and from there try to formulate a goal.
So what am I even saying? Point is...your life will only be considered as a failure if you stop doing what will make you successful and happy.
So what am I even saying? Point is...your life will only be considered as a failure if you stop doing what will make you successful and happy.
Why is failure important in life?
When you were still in school, you took a test and after taking the exam, test papers returned to you. What do you usually check first? Your score, right? And you check how many questions you got wrong.
You’ll read the question again and try making sense as to why you got it wrong then maybe you’ll realize your mistakes or maybe you’ll ask why is it even a mistake? And you’ll be able to remember it more than those questions that you answered right. Why is that?
We are conscious because we don’t want to fail but in failing, we always remember it and look back to it...because, again, we don’t want to fail. It always comes back to that.
Failure is always in the process of success and learning. We don’t know everything yet so we fail.
It’s also the same when we feel like we’re really professional in the field or career we’re pursuing...and feel like we already know everything if we fail, it just tells us that there is still a lot to learn. It will make you feel eager to learn.
Now that we have already created a new whole meaning to the word failure and explained why it is important. You might be thinking, Hey! I don’t want it right now. I wanted to know how to overcome this feeling that I am currently feeling right now, okay? I failed.
Now to give me the steps on how to overcome it. Okay, now we proceed on how to handle failure that you are currently experiencing.
How to overcome failure?
You’ll realize that the answer lies inside you. You might be thinking that you actually don’t need this blog because the answer or ways are obvious.
Here’s the 3 simple ways on how to overcome failure:
You’ll realize that the answer lies inside you. You might be thinking that you actually don’t need this blog because the answer or ways are obvious.
Here’s the 3 simple ways on how to overcome failure:
1. Accept that you fail.
That’s the key point on how to overcome the idea that you fail. You do. You fail. Tell yourself that you fail. It’s humiliating. It’s hard, yes! You will even have triggers that when it is ticked you will remember how badly you fail. It’s normal to feel that. Embrace it. Feel it.
If your failures need you to be accountable for it, do it. Do everything to correct whatever’s done so that it won’t be dug again in the future and it will harm you.
How to accept failure?
We are all afraid to fail but that doesn’t mean you will not do something. There are people who stay on the safe side where there are no possibilities of failure. They only do things that are going perfectly according to their plans. They don’t want to risk their perfect life.
If that’s what they want, let them. However, ask yourself, where does it bring them? They are only stagnant.
Failure means you are doing something. Think of failure as a way of discovering how to do things properly to be able to achieve your dreams. If you don’t make that mistake, you won’t be able to be right and advance your learning.
When I was in college, there was this one professor who noticed every single mistake, even tiny mistakes on our baby thesis paper. Everyone in the class hates her, literally.
There’s this one time that she accuses me of plagiarism to the point that I really cried because I haven’t gotten any sleep just to do that. She keeps on rejecting and failing us to the point that I wanted to give up but well, I passed the subject.
Then when our final thesis came, I was thankful to her because I can say that I actually learned from her.
I easily passed my thesis documentation because of her because I know every single thing about it and how to do it because she makes me dreadfully remember every single mistake that I made and so I know better now.
You may not accept that you fail now but eventually when you already moved on from it. You will be able to rationally think about it and you’ll be able to see through your works that you already improved, thanks to that mistake.
Once, you accept that you fail...let go of it. Do not dwell on it for too long. However, do not forget because you will need it for the next step.
2. Learn from it
Try to learn from your failure as the saying goes in the beginning of this blog. It’s always easier to be said than done. I already said that, too.
I know this because I’m human and I’ve been there, too, but you have to take time to open mindedly recall your past mistakes and see where everything started to go south? Write it down while you recall your memory lane...and see what you can do better?
What you should’ve done instead? It’s important to only take information that will help you grow.
It’s hard to dissect that while you’re in a state where you can’t rationalize that knowledge because you’re extremely regretful, humiliated, and whatever emotions that are overwhelming you right now.
It’s important to take your time in doing the first step, allow yourself to accept that you failed first before you started to learn from it.
After that you’re ready for the third step. Read on…
After that you’re ready for the third step. Read on…
3. Improve
History repeats itself. It’s actually a commonly used quote already and you’re so tired of hearing it but it’s still useful.
If you do not remember every single mistake that you committed when you fail, you will still repeat it over and over again so it is important that you take time to learn from it. Always remember that in every failure you have to figure out what went wrong?
Because in doing so you can go forward.
Yeah, so we’re already done with elaborating those three simple steps to take in order for you to handle failure that you’re in right now. It’s simple, yes, but it will take you a lot of time to do that.
Keep in mind that you don’t have to fast track everything because maybe your emotions will find it hard to keep up with you if you do that.
What if after going through that slump which we called failure, you eventually found yourself afraid of trying again because you fear of failing?
How to overcome fear of failure?
There is no right formula for this or a proper step to take when you want to overcome your fear of failure. I am not prepared and I am not able to take note of the step by step process but I always follow one simple rule: “When I’m afraid to do it, I’ll do it.”
It’s not easy to do that. I swear. I always dislike public speaking because I always stutter and my mind always goes haywire. I am not able to speak my mind like how I composed my words when writing.
I am not able to do that in front of everyone and every time I do it I feel like I always mess up. Always.
At first, when I was finding a job, I always avoided getting into something that involves speaking because I feel like I will only humiliate myself and I’m not even good at it.
Yet there’s always a part of me that wants to do it because it hinders me to achieve a lot of things and get all the opportunities given to me because I am afraid. Now, I’m in a job wherein I’ll speak to clients of our company and coordinate and sell our services.
I’m afraid to do it up until now. My chest is always bursting and I’m always anxious but I guess it is normal when you are doing something that is out of your comfort zone.
It’s also a way to detect that you’re not stagnant, that you’re moving...because you are doing a lot of new things.
When you are driving towards your dream, you don’t go on the same road over and over again...you move forward...see a lot of new roads and places until you reach your destination.
Conclusion
Can a person be a failure all his life? No. Always count your mini successes and you’ll see you’re not a failure at all. When you fail now, it doesn’t mean that you are a failure. No.
You just drove towards your goal or dream, you may get lost, your tires may get flattened, you may run out of gas, but you have to keep moving forward.
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