The difference between how villains romanticized by men* and villains romanticized by women are treated in society, summarized.

*Totally understand that women/non-cis/LGBTQA are attracted to Lady Dimitrescu. But straight cis-men have been heavily involved in the thirst vs somebody like The Darkling or Kylo Ren who are mainly romanticized by women/LGBTQA. This makes a huge difference in the discourse.

When men are attracted to the villain, discourse is accepting. Ppl ask “this is interesting, why is this villain attractive?” This is explained using science&the understanding that fiction is exploratory. Nobody assumes “little boys” will be manipulated by the big bad sexy vamp.

When basically only women are attracted to the villain, discourse is hostile. Ppl ask “this is disgusting, how can this be allowed?” This is explained w/ false claims that fiction impacts how “little girls”/women act IRL. These women **must** be psychopaths or abuse apologists.

Men rely heavily on “hysteria.” It’s not just that women are immoral for liking villains, but they are deranged perverts. Women spread this sexist ideology among other “fem”-dominated communities, seemingly w/o realizing its sexist origins. (see: the entire dynamic of Tumblr).

But for boys and men, villains loved by them receive universal praise, the world leans into the sexualization as good fun (which it is!!), & nobody is told they will become an abuse victim or school shooter for liking a giant vampire lady.

It should be crystal clear that policing what women enjoy in fiction — especially if the policing is because of what women like sexually — is the absolute cornerstone of misogynistic and patriarchal thinking.

Women exploring sex — especially through “Not Pure” characters — is directly opposed to traditional misogynistic conditioning. By exploring sex, power, attraction via fiction like men are “allowed” to do, women can understand a lot about their desires and themselves.

In our society, a woman (cis or non-cis) understanding her desire is terrifying. It’s dangerous. It’s deranged. It’s sin. We have come a long way — but the differences between how we treat men exploring attraction in fiction and women reveals how far we still have to go.