under your bed. Not that I was rifling through your stuff because I wanted to, I was just making sure you aren’t a traitor or something. I was expecting porn, but instead you have wine magazines. Do you know how dumb that is? You aren’t even legal.”

He pauses as if he’s actually

waiting a response.

He doesn’t get one.

“Well it’s really dumb. And stupid. Although I shouldn’t be surprised because you’re really dumb and stupid. Dumb, stupid dog. Why am I even talking to you right now, you’re probably dead”.

Dead. Dead. Dead.

Didn’t they always say

they’d kill one another?

Maybe this should be considered a good thing.

“It’s actually not the same when you don’t yell back you know,” Dazai continues. “Although, do you realize what a win this is for me? I don’t have to hear your yappy voice anymore.”

He’s not even sure what

he’s saying.

He’s just talking, and it somehow feels good and a bit like an outlet for all the unnameable emotions coursing through his body.

“You better stay gone, Chibi.” The words come out like acid. “Because we hate each other, and if you come back, I’m going

to have to take you to Tuscany and ruin your experience for you. I’m going to insult all your wine, eat all the cheese and make you babysit me while I shit my guts out because I’m actually pretty sure I’m lactose intolerant.”

He pauses.

“Yeah. I’d make it a real terrible

vacation for you. All those pretty pictures from those magazines and you’ll never be able to experience them. Sucks to be you. So if you are dead, you better stay that way because I’m going to make your life a living hell if you come back.”

He waits again.

“God I hate you,” he

mutters. “I hate you enough that I’d ask you to marry me in Tuscany because then you couldn’t leave me and you’d be stuck with me. Wouldn’t that be the worst? You’d have to deal with me. Forever. So I guess I hope for your sake that you’re actually dead — go into the

light, Chibi-kun.”

He’s really not sure what he’s saying anymore. He’s just spouting panic induced nonsense.

When the extraction team arrives to take Chuuya away they have to pry him from Dazai’s grip. He doesn’t even realize how tightly he’s holding onto him until he finds his

hands are stiff and they almost won’t release.

——

The beeping is rhythmic and steady.

The chair is uncomfortable and his tailbone feels bruised, but Dazai refuses to shift from his position of being reclined back and staring up at the ceiling. He’s not going to be like that

woman staring intently at her boyfriend and waiting for him to wake up. He also wasn’t going to talk to Chuuya anymore. It obviously didn’t work the first time since the redhead was still alive and he said a bunch of ridiculous nonsense anyways.

“You look really uncomfortable.”

Obviously Dazai didnt gasp. He wasn’t a drama Queen.

He just wasn’t expecting to hear Chuuya’s voice, even if it’s ragged and exhausted and far too quiet.

He kind of thinks he’s imagining it, but when he looks Chuuya is looking at him with drowsy, bloodshot bright blue eyes.

Dazai feels himself swallow and blink. His heart is pounding in his chest. He takes what feels like his first breath. His eyes sting.

Dazai has seen a lot of death and it’s never phased him — he’s even on the constant mission to meet it.

He can’t place what he feels.

He’s not relieved. He can’t be, and if he’s being honest it feels too simple of a label.

Part of him is angry — angry that Chuuya came back because Dazai hasn’t been able to sleep, hasn’t been able to breath, hasn’t been able to *exist* these last few days.

No one had ever

had that power over him — no on should ever have it. He doesn’t like pain, and this had been excruciating, and death was supposed to take it away like ripping off a bandaid; instantaneous and stinging, but then gone.

Now those watery blue eyes are looking at him again and he

knows this could just happen all over again.

“I’m not actually a ghost you know,” Chuuya croaks. “You don’t have to look at me like that.”

“Could have fooled me,” Dazai mutters. “Although you’re right. You look more like a zombie. Get it? Since you’re half dead and all.”

“You’re an ass,” Chuuya replies. “I’m not half dead.”

“I dunno, you didn’t have to see yourself. You looked pretty dead to me.” He says it like a joke, but doesn’t even laugh at the image of how Chuuya looked in his arms.

“Whatever, I bet I looked like an action movie star.”

He didn’t and he still doesn’t. He actually looks like he’s ready to fall back asleep.

“In your dreams.” Dazai says.

Chuuya yawns. “Speaking of dreams. I had the strangest one.”

Dazai raises a brow.

“You took me on a trip to Tuscany,” Chuuya says.

Dazai’s blood turns to

ice. There was no way Chuuya had heard or remembered any of what Dazai had said. No way.

“So I think it’s a sign you owe me when I’m better.” Chuuya’s eyes start to flutter shut. “You even paid for all my wine.”

That was definitely not part of the bargain Dazai had made.

“You were definitely dreaming,” he finally says.

Chuuya just hums, as he goes back to sleep.

—

When he’s released from the hospital neither of them bring up Tuscany again. Dazai pretends he never said those things and he tries to lock the words away in a neat little box and

bury it.

He doesn’t know if he does it unconsciously or deliberately, but he starts pulling away from Chuuya. Only working with him when he has to. It doesn’t feel right and he feels like something is missing, but he thinks it’s for the best.

He trades one redhead for another,

one who can see their death and can try to change it. One who will hopefully stay.

Dazai thinks he has the secret figured out.

But he always loses things as soon as he obtains them.

Oda’s blood is haunting and ugly as it stains his hands. Dazai’s been here before, but this

time he doesn’t talk when Oda closes his eyes. Instead, he rips the bandaid off and he walks away.

——

4 years.

That’s how long it takes for him to finally have the courage to face Chuuya again.

He hides behind bravado and a sly smirk and a know-it-all expression, but really

he feels like he’s starting to thaw.

It’s slow, they have a lot of work to do, but they are *trying*.

It takes Dazai a long time to truly warm up to the idea, but eventually, when the wars are done, Dazai’s flipping through a travel magazine on his and Chuuya’s shared bed.

Ironically, it’s not even listed as a destination but there’s an ad for Sassicaia that reminds him of it.

*I had a dream you took me to Tuscany*

“Neh, Chibi!”

“What?” Chuuya’s face pokes out from the bathroom, toothbrush sticking out of his mouth.

“Do you still want to go

to Tuscany?”

Chuuya pauses his brushing. “Is this a joke?”

They’ve never really talked about that conversation, and even now Dazai isn’t sure what Chuuya remembers.

He shrugs.

“No. I’m going to ask you to marry me.”

//e.

This could have been 1 tweet but here we are