Visiting home and mom asks me to cook, which, fine, I love cooking. But man, cooking at your mother's house is an adventure. No Dutch oven, no food processor or blender, no sharp knives, no decent pans, vegetable peeler dating from the Spanish inquisition...

Other highlights of visiting home include mattresses/pillows that have not been updated since you left in 2002, VERY nice bath towels (because you bought her nice bath towels last year and she literally saved them for you to use), expectations to change smoke detector batteries.

But we did sell my brother's free weight and bench press set (circa 1997) for $250 dollars on Craigslist, so dinner's on that!