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It's been around a year since I last said that the asexual community has a racism issue that it isn't ready to address and it feels like nothing has changed. The mentality of, "We're a minority so we can't discriminate against others" is so ironically strong, considering -
that the ace community is and always has been predominantly represented by white people. Our online spaces are overwhelmingly white, or at least strikingly non-Black. The loudest voices and the most amplified voices are, more often than not, white.
They are the most palatable, the most relatable, the least threatening, the most protected and the least critiqued. Don't let my tokenisation fool you. I've been on the receiving end of harmful, biased, and alienating behaviours from other aces, including from other activists.
I've felt targeted, dehumanised, silenced, and stereotyped, which hasn't stopped me from working for this community every day but it has made me feel less comfortable within it too often. And as a queer, working class black woman whose volunteer work has been publicly -
recognised, I'm meant to be the privileged one. I say this for the black aces you aren't hearing who have said the same thing. Don't underestimate how exhausting it is navigating predominantly white spaces as a black person in your daily life and online.
Don't underestimate how exhausting it is being a minority within a minority and never quite feeling like you fit anywhere, only to be reminded by white people in your own community, that you don't. Don't underestimate the pressures of the 'job' and how you only glimpse -
the surface of it, particularly for black people with a public target on their back. Don't underestimate the role you as an individual can play in being able to make things at least a little easier. Not thinking you're the problem IS the problem.
Being continously conscious, considerate and empathetic can make all the difference. We can do better. We need to do better or we won't get anywhere. The asexual community is racist too, just like almost everywhere else. Let's talk about it. Let's change it.
And for the record, the only 'Ace Day' I acknowledge or support is #InternationalAsexualityDay (April 6) for the reasons I've just mentioned so don't ask me about that. IAD came into existence for a reason.
