here's the basic idea:
sexual excitement and orgasm is a tension of body, followed by an intense sense of relief, from relieving the muscle tension and the following hormonal cocktail. human beings have a lot of shit on their mind, varius problems which cause them anxiety,

which causes them "tension", because anxiety relates to fight/flight survival responses. the body is a metaphor for your emotions and thoughts.

You will sexualise the cause of whatever emotional, social or philosophical anxiety you have, because, growing into puberty you discovered the orgasm-relief sensation and jerking off, and you are trying to biohack/trick yourself into causing "relief"

by putting the cause of your emotional anxiety, stress, etc, into a sexual context, in which you don't have to resolve the problem, but can "brute force" it by pulling on your dick until relief washes over you.

thus tricking yourself into feeling like your emotional problems are resolved. it doesnt actually work though, which is why most figure out that staying in the process, of jerking off without ever reaching climax, edging, is cost/benefit preferable.

because it isnt about sex or cum and it never was. it's about fantasy, and relief, in so long as you are "in the process" of creating "relief", this is narratively satisfying, even as the amount of physical tension is increased. because the problem never was the physical tension

but the physical tension was an expression or metaphor for, an unresolved narrative, something you haven't "figured out"

imagine something like, a monkey with ptsd and shellshock from trench warfare, that's just lying on the ground frantically masturbating to desperately cause a brief moment of, not pleasure, but, just relief from the drums of artillery ringing in his ears. that's basically you

the reason there's a moral prohibition against self-stimulation in all functional societies and traditions is a recognition of the simple fact that it's destructive and the intuitive recognition that it's using the "tools" of the human psyche in the wrong way,

which causes and intuitive disgust response once recognized. it is the social equivalent of the offence you feel from seeing someone use a tool you are proficient with "in the wrong way" - seeing someone use a hammer to try to saw, and ruining the tool in the process

which is ultimately antisocial, because it's "stealing" a "tool" from the tribe, which makes us weaker as a unit, and lowers our survival chances in our perpetual state of war against nature for survival, in some small way