Here’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, a short https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧵" title="Thread" aria-label="Emoji: Thread">:

Thursday, I wrote a note in my planner to make sure to chat with my grandma on Mother’s Day. I’m estranged from my parents, but my grandma and I are very close and trade holiday cards, Facebook Messenger notes... 1/

And flowers on special occasions. She lives in Ontario so I don’t always have a great view of her day-to-day, especially not speaking to my parents who would typically report her various health concerns and such that she didn’t want to bore me with. 2/

Anyway as I was writing my note it occurred to me I hadn’t heard from her in a while, and an awful thought drifted into my head: what if she had died. To ease my mind I googled her name - and immediately found her obituary. 3/

Two months ago, my wonderful grandmother passed away, “surrounded by her children” (including my parent). Neither of my parents told me she was dying, or that she died at all. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I’ll never know if she got my last message where I told her I loved her 4/

I hope she did. I hope she knew. But I don’t get to go back and make sure, because they took that from me. I’m so devastated. I’m heartbroken to lose her but even worse is knowing I could have had a chance to say goodbye and they took it from me 5/

It is so horrible and wrong to know this viscerally that your parents do not love you. And much worse to know it robbed you of whatever last moments you might have had with someone you loved with your whole heart. I’m so sorry grandma. I would have been there, I promise. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Rotes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Rotes Herz"> 6/

I will probably delete this tweet thread later since I just flayed myself alive on main with absolutely no takeaway (except maybe “don’t be a pile of human garbage”) but I hope this tale in some way compelled you to be kinder in your own life. 7/7